Post Holiday Results

Well well well... I did very well... not only did I lose what I gained last week - I lost another pound on top of that!  I lost 2.4 lbs this week and my total is now 66.8 lbs since March.  I was able to show some self control for the most part.  The cookies did get the best of me this year, but it still could have been way worse.  I was consciously thinking about everything that was going in my mouth... good or bad I knew it.

I went into the weekend thinking I would do the measuring cup thing when eating... which was to grab a 1/3 C. measuring cup and use that to portion out my food.  I did not do that, but when eating meals I really paid attention to what was going on my plate as well as how much.

My husband makes the BEST breakfast foods. The first day they had breakfast burritos with hash browns  my favorite) and I chose to eat the yogurt that I brought along with the apples and splurged on two pieces of bacon and one sausage. The second day they had egg sandwiches, banana bread and something else that I can't remember and I just had my yogurt, a piece of banana bread (with very little butter) and apple because it was Christmas Eve and I knew dinner would be bad.   So a big win for me.

Like I said the cookies got the best of me!  BUT being that I was with my sister in law and she's a super active person, we went for walks on the lake with the dogs both days.  The first day we nearly went 3 miles (on ice... quads hurt the next day) and the second day we did close to 2 miles if not over (quads still hurt today).  So that was super super helpful in burning off some of the calories.

On Christmas day I chose not to have breakfast really (I did have a piece of cheese and sausage on a cracker, but just one - where normally I would have had like 8).  I did have a couple cookies, apple crisp and a half of a cream puff (naughty naughty) but my meal was way under control and I didn't snack much on the appetizers except for the veggies (thanks mom!!!).  I chose not to have dinner that night too - but did have two crackers with cheese spread on them... again would normally have had more than that plus a dinner.

So all in all, I did very well and am super proud of myself for showing such control.  I beat both Thanksgiving and Christmas by losing weight each of those weeks.  And met my goal of "staying the same" between the holidays - in fact I lost 5.4 lbs from Thanksgiving to Christmas.  Not too shabby I'd say.

I also started Jillian Michaels back up again today... but am doing level 2 this time.  I started it now because I wanted to be done in time for when I go scrapbooking at the end of January.  I wanted to leave myself enough time to prep myself for that and not have to do that while I'm at scrapbooking.  So - there... that is my next goal.

I hope you all showed some self control over the holiday... every little bit counts.  Even if you gained, you should ask yourself were you out of control?   Or did you have control and it could have been worse?  I'm guessing it's the latter of the two.

Good luck this week and yep...

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!!!

As expected!!!

Well I gained back what I was so excited to have lost last week, 1.4 lbs.  Like my mom has always told me, maybe it's the slap in the face that I needed to get myself back on track.  I'm going to run with that!  I don't have a lot of insight to share this week other than you have got to have a plan for the next two weeks.  Whatever that plan may be.  If you don't care if you gain, lose, whatever... then you'll probably experience very bad results on the scale.

I do have a plan.

• I stopped at the grocery store today after my weight watcher meeting to get myself prepared for being away from home for 3 days.  I bought some healthier snacks (they may not be perfect, but they are better than full blown fatty snacks). 
• I am committing to getting in my 8 glasses of water at my brother in law's house - even though I can't stand the taste of their water.  I need to get that in.  I didn't this week and that's one of MANY things I did wrong this week.
• I'm only going to have 1 sweet treat a day and it's not going to be a HUGE sweet treat.
• Everything going into my mouth, as always, is going to be counted.
• For the meals we have, i'm going to use a 1/3 measuring cup to use as my serving size.  This really helped at Thanksgiving, but I used a 1/2 cup and was left miserable because that was actually too much food.
• I will be walking each day that I'm away.  I am sure I'll need a break from the maddness, so that will be my excuse.  I'm just hoping that the weather stays good where I can walk outside... I can't walk well in the boots I have so I'll have to be able to use my tennis shoes.
• I have been really lax at my exercising, so when at home, I will either be hitting the gym OR working out at home - at least one activity.

That's probably a good list of how I'm going to try to stay in control this week.  The only one I'm afraid of is the sweets one.  I tried that two weeks ago and failed miserably.  So here's to hoping it turns out well for me.

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas (or whatever you do/don't celebrate).  Please please please leave me a comment on what you're plans are this holiday week to stay on track.  I would love additional ideas.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!!!

D Day - almost here

I am having a really horrible week.  I have no motivation for exercise this week... I've only exercised 1 day this week (although I will make it a priority tonight) and am feeling really worn down.  Not sure why, I don't feel like I'm getting sick, just really really tired.

I do not have a good outlook for my weigh in tomorrow.  I haven't even "checked" my weight since this weekend.  I've eaten really bad, even though I tried to combat that with making a bunch of food on Sunday for Lunches/Dinners this week.

So I guess what I'm saying in... lets prep for a gain this week (I'm telling this to myself) because it's inevitable.

Wha-waaaa...

I need to snap out of this asap, I cannot go into this weekend feeling down as I will eat myself silly.  So here's to hoping I can get out of this week's slump, because...

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

The Good With the Bad = Happiness!!!

Sorry all, I was out of town for work this week so I couldn't weigh in until yesterday.  I lost 1.4 lbs during a week where I attended a Christmas Party and being out of town for work (for a trip planned the day before we left) and eating out a lot this week.

I wasn't great at the Christmas party... that cookie tray got the best of me.  The food didn't as bad, but that damn cookie tray called my name from the other room! I had a plan when I got there, but I did not follow my plan.  Bummer! ... and it kind of threw me off this week.

On Tuesday my boss told me that we had to have a client facing document ready for Monday so I suggested we have an on-site face-to-face meeting so we can hash some things out without the conference call / webex thing and for less disruption.  It was a great suggestion, but left me no time for planning because we left Wednesday afternoon.  We went to Granite City, a Khan's (like) restaurant, Old Chicago and Qdoba in two days.

Wednesday Night:  At Granite City I ordered the burger I wanted, but with no bun and broccoli instead of fries.  It was AMAZING and I didn't even miss the fries.  I did not order a drink.  I also asked them to take me back to the hotel before they hit the bars so that I could work out instead of drinking a bunch.  They did and were SOOOOO cool about it.  I rode the bike that night for 35 minutes, totes proud!

Thursday:  Breakfast at the hotel, I was a ROCK STAR.  Had my normal 2 hard boiled eggs, ate a yogurt and took two banana's for the day (but I didn't eat them).  Lunch was at a Khans type restaurant where you have total control over what you add in.  I did chicken and all veggies, no noodles.  Didn't miss them at all.  I over did the oil though, but seemed to work out fine.  Dinner was at Old Chicago - FELL OFF.  I had three beers (20 points) and I ate three 1/2 pieces of pizza (48 points).  So way way over for the day... but at least I made smarter choices during the day otherwise it could have been worse.

Friday:  breakfast - rockstar again.  Lunch - Qdoba - ordered a chicken salad with no cheese, sourcream or dressing.  Just had salsa, chicken and lettuce.  Pretty boring but I really had to be good because I knew I'd be weighing in the next day.  Friday night - my hubby and I went out to eat AGAIN.  I ordered a water instead of a beer (wanted a beer but knew I needed to be good).  I ordered a rueben sandwich without the bread - it was weird, but again... I needed to cut out that buttered bread and then I ordered broccoli again ($2 for broccoli but I didn't care).  So over all I did really well by choosing the good for the bad.

So in the end I lost 1.4 and met my next 5# goal... I've now lost 65.8 lbs.  WOW!!!  On a roll!!!  Here's to hoping for another successful week.  This one shouldn't be too bad, but it's that time of the month again.  So I may get a gain this week.

I hope you are able to *THINK* before you make your bad choices... it's worth the bad sometimes, but you really need to make up for it with only partial bad.  I tell you, I was not left with wanting something that I cut out.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Jillian Michael Results are in...

I could not be more proud of myself than I am today.  I have accomplished a lot in just under 8 months.

1. Rejoined Weight Watchers (best thing I could have done for myself)
2. Went back to the gym
3. Lost 64.6 lbs
4. Lost these inches since August 2012
1. Bust:  4 inches
2. Waist:  5 inches
3. Hips: 5 3/4 inches
5. Walked over 50 miles (that I've tracked, I know it's more than that)
6. COMPLETED the 30 Day Shred from Jillian Michaels
1. Lost the following:
1. Weight 5.6 lbs (including a holiday in there - Thanksgiving the holiday of food, folks and fun!)
2. Bust: 1 1/2 "
3. Waist:  2 inches
4. Hips: 2 inches

I'm sure there's plenty more things I've accomplished that are just not coming to mind but seriously... I'm super pleased with what I've done for myself.  After day 2 of Jillian Michaels I almost quit... oh and day 4, 8, 10 and 11... but once I got that far - there was no turning back!

Jillian Michaels kicked my ass, so I'm going to take 2 weeks off of a strenuous activity like that and in the mean time I need to figure out what I'm going to start in that time frame.  I am thinking either back to Billy Blanks Tae Bo or trying another video I have at home.  I do know that for the next two weeks I'm going back to water aerobics (it got too hard to get there, do Jillian and eat a dinner in one evening so I dialed that back but replaced with walking) and I'm going to bust out my Balance Ball again.  After doing Jillian I should be able to do all of the Balance Ball routines.

My sister is going to borrow the Jillian Michaels video and do the 30 day shred.  I am so excited for her and hope that she doesn't get discouraged because at first it's sooooo challenging.  It remained challenging for me but only because you can do more and more each time you do it.  I posted daily pictures (after day 5) on Facebook and that really held me to not quitting.  There were so many people supporting me that I just couldn't let them down or disappoint myself.

Anyway - this post is kind of boring... not a lot of guidance here other than I hope I am maybe inspiring some to try something that they never though they could do.  I know at least one of you readers is a runner and I bet it wasn't easy at first but I watch you on Facebook and always think - DAMN GIRL you've got drive.  YOU inspired me.

If any of you are interested in getting this video it's super cheap.  I know two people who have bought it due to my postings on Facebook - both of them got it at Walmart, (and there were several rumblings in my weight watcher meetings that said they were stopping on the way home today to pick it up after I announced my results)  I think it's under $10.  Otherwise I know Amazon carries it for $7.55 right now... here's a link to it if you're curious:  Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred.  It says you can lose up to 20 lbs from doing the video, I obviously did not.  I did level 1 the entire time and maybe that's why... or maybe because of the time of year -- I'm not perfect :) in my eating habits... but I'll take that 5.6 lbs.

Anyway - this weekend's challenges for me:

• Husband is leaving town (I never do well when he leaves)
• Girls Christmas Party - where food, drinks and desserts will be flowing

It's not too terrible though... If I keep my activity up, I should be able to ace this weekend.  I hope I stay on this high for a long time :)

Take care all and remember, I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

How to Plan

First I'll start out with how my week was, which will lead us into the topic this week... I did OK this week / weekend.  It was of course a very tough week for me with all the plans/things going on...

1. Thursday:  Thanksgiving
2. Friday:  Bought a new bed and didn't have time to make a dinner so we went out (Starving) and I ordered a burger and fries
3. Saturday:  Got home late after meeting up with my mom and didn't feel like making dinner, so we ordered pizza
4. Sunday:  Lunch and Dinner Plans

I knew about Thanksgiving of course and Sunday's plans, so I was able to prepare myself fairly well for those events.   I made a plan of what I was going to do to be able to enjoy myself AND stay somewhat on track.

Thursday's Plan:  As I mentioned in last week's post, I had my mom put out a 1/2 cup measuring cup for me so that for each side I wouldn't have more than that.  My mom also had fresh veggies cut up so I would have something healthy to snack on for appetizers while we finished prepping for dinner.  Also, Two days before Thanksgiving, I sent an email out to my family and asked them to bring their tennis shoes (for those of them that would want to go for a walk before or after dinner).  One person brought their tennis shoes, but 5 of us went for a walk.  It was GREAT.  After we got back, I had pie (planned).  After that - I was extremely miserable and full.  Not what I wanted to happen, but I stuck to my plan. At the time I had no clue what my points were for the day, but that's the only meal I had, later I figured out points.  Granted I was over, but oh man I would have done much worse had I not been on WW for months and thought about what I was going to do.  So I feel like Thanksgiving was a total win for me.

Friday's Plan:  I had NOTHING planned for Friday.  I was going to work out and just hang out at home and work on my class (I'm sooo far behind, I'm going to do what I always do - procrastinate... eek my deadlines are coming up).  I did work out - at least did my Jillian Michaels video (as of today I'm on day 24 --- HUGE WIN).  I did great during the day but after spending HOURS looking for a mattress, it was late when we actually made a purchase.  So I was STARVING and we decided to go to one of our favorite Monticello Restaurants (Chatters) and I ordered a delicious burger and got the fries.  I ate it all.  ALL.  So in the end, I kinda blew up my Friday.

Saturday:  Not really a plan, but my mother brought me some soup and salad fixing for lunch so that was great... but later when I got home  I felt lazy and didn't want to cook.  We ordered pizza and I blew up that night too.  Even though I've gone over now during these three days - I still have SOME extra points left over.

Sunday:  We went to Chipotle for lunch - I did GREAT.  I ordered a salad with chicken and black beans... no cheese, sour cream or guac.  I skipped the dressing too - just had them add extra salsa.  So that was great and exactly what I had planned when going there.  Very proud of myself because I love their tortillas, cheese (duh) and sour cream (oh and the guac).  Sunday night we met some friends for dinner.  Talked a lot about my exercising and food planning.  But when it came down to ordering I chose the mac & cheese over the fish tacos.  I knew that I wanted the mac & cheese, but didn't know if I wanted to order it.  I ordered it AND ate it all.  Again over points, but still within my extras (BARELY).  I would say this day still went down as a WIN for me.

It was very important for me to at least choose 1 good meal (really two because breakfasts were all reasonable) if I knew I was going to have something bad at another.  And honestly it paid off!  I lost 1.6 lbs this week.  I made my goal (which was to stay the same... but secretly hoped to get into the next 10's).

I also lost another point, so I'm a little nervous because lately it's been tough to stay within points (as you can read) and with the holiday's coming up, that's only going to make it that much harder.  If you know nothing about the points system, losing one point is kinda a big deal.  At least it is to me.

The lesson to learn here is that we need to learn how to scope out our days/weeks somehow so that we can make some good decisions with the bad (if there has to even be bad decisions).  Now's the time to really focus on that because these holidays are HARD.  Plan on eating some low-zero point snacks before going to these events - fill up on that stuff so you don't fill up on the bad stuff at the party. BUT I am a firm believer of allowing yourself what you want to eat too.  If you keep passing on some of those things, it may come back to BITE you bad.  So don't be a stickler, just be aware of what you're doing, what you've got going on in the moment and what you've got coming up.  Plan, Plan and Plan some more.

My goal for next week is to get in some healthy oils (2) each day.  Even if I just have to add a tsp of oil to a meal.  I think that will help me a lot because I've been having some issues (I'm sure you can guess) and I've never had that problem before (EVER really, at least not consistently).  I don't really have a weight goal - other than obviously I want to lose weight.  My goal for the month of December (and really every month from December to next October) is to lose 8 lbs each month.  So if I can get some of that off next week - that's GREAT.

By the time I write next week I'll be done with my 30 day shred and can give you some updates on that.  I will also post a picture of me sometime in the near future as I've lost that next 10#'s (as of last week)... so I need to get that up.  Laziness I think that's what they call it.

Anyway - take care this week... let me know some of your challenges and how you've overcome them, how you've been planning or what you plan to do with the challenges...  We've got some readers out there so let's help each other by sharing.  I think we all need the help right now - especially during the holiday seasons.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

I'm Thankful For...

I'm thankful for many things in my life...

1. My husband - man I love him.  He's not perfect, but neither am I right?!  I'm not just thankful for the support he's been giving me through this journey (although it's been amazing), but to have him in my life to make me smile and hold me when I need to be held.
2. My Mom - well if anyone knows me at all... I have my mom on a pedestal.  She is amazing and I hope I can be 1/10th the person she is when I grow up.
3. I'm thankful for Facebook - if it wasn't for that, I don't think I'd be on Day 17 of Jillian Michael's.  the support system I've gotten from there is unbelievable.  I have people personal messaging me, posting on my pictures, writing on my wall, tagging me in their posts and texting me... all to tell me how proud, inspired, and amazed with what I'm doing.  It's INSANE how much that helps me.
4. I'm thankful for writing this blog... again, kinda the same above.  I know there are a few of you out there that read this religiously... and I appreciate it.
5. I'm thankful for Weight Watchers (WW)... the only program that works for me (and most).  My honeymoon period is over... so all of these mini goals are what keeps me going.
6. I'm thankful for Polly Z. - my WW leader.  She's just awesome.
7. I'm thankful for a great boss - who allows me to work from home so that I can attend my WW meetings... and really she's just great too.
8. I'm thankful for my co-workers... I love everyone I work with, but there are a few out there that I'm more thankful for than others :)  You know who you are.

I did very well this week.  I lost 2.6 lbs and am now down 61.4... yay I met 1 of my goals.  If I would have lost just 0.2 more I would be in the next 10's... so I'm excited for that.  My goal this week is to stay the same... I fully plan on eating for Thanksgiving (but will be eating reasonably) but my ugly lady friend will be paying me a visit this week - so all I can hope for is to stay the same and not beat myself up.

So what's my plan today???

I asked my mom to put out 1/2 cup measuring cup.  Anything I put in my mouth will be no bigger than 1/2 cup... other than my piece of pie.  Which I will have.  So that's my plan.  We also have plans to go out to dinner/lunch two times this coming week - so I've got challenges galore!!!

Anyway - if you read this before Thanksgiving Dinner... please remember it is just a meal, but don't deprive yourself of this meal.  Just eat within reason - it's no fun to eat until you are uncomfortable.

Take care and as always... I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

How to get motivated??

I've been working out like a mad woman lately, most days I'm doing more than one work out... sometimes 3.  But today, today I've hit a wall.  A big wall.  I'm on day 14 of my Jillian Michael work out.. DAY 14!!!  I'm almost half way done.  OMG almost half way done!!!  BUT  I have no motivation to continue.  I half-assed my workout tonight.  I'm hoping it's super temporary and just for today.  I skipped my water aerobics for the night too... I haven't missed that in months (on purpose).

Tonight... I'll be digging down.  Digging down deep so that I can get that motivation back.  I'm hoping it's only because I didn't sleep well last night (the hubs was a snoring machine, so I had to switch rooms).

I'll be weighing in this week Wednesday morning in Minnetonka (before work).  At this point I don't want to skip a week of weighing in because of a holiday (being on my weigh in day).  So hopefully I can meet my goal I set last week.  It would make all this hard work worth it.

So... here's to digging deep.  It will be worth it, it will be I just know it!!!

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Goal Setting Announcement!

Well as I expected, it would be hard to lose weight this week following a week of a 4.8 lb weight loss.  I was able to stay focused for the most part due to being on a total high from the weight loss.  I really hate how that controls the happiness of my life :)

Let's just jump in with updates on my progress:

• Jillian Michaels 30 day shred:  I started this last Tuesday - it totally sucks, super hard, but feels good.  I hate her.  I'm on day 10 - YAY 1/3 of the way done!!!!  Last night I had to stop at an athletic shoe store to buy new shoes because when I do the cardio part, my feet (left arch) burns super bad and sometimes I have to quit the move because it's too painful.  I don't like quitters, so trying another solution first.
• Walking:  I've walked more lately than probably my entire life combined - this week alone I've walked 6.5 miles. Funny story though:  On Sunday it was freakin cold, I'm talking icicles on my sweat (in areas we won't mention).  I attempted to take Olivia, which is my 8.5 lb dachshund - we made it out onto the main road (which isn't far from my house) when she stopped dead in her tracks.  I looked at her and it looked like she was telepathically communicated with me saying "oh hell no, you have got to be out of your mind if you think i'm going any further."  So, I turned around and took her home, added a hat and scarf to what I already had on (it was COLD) and went back out.  I got so into my music I started somewhat dancing (well... not somewhat - sometimes I was full blown dancing) down School Boulevard.  If you don't know, It's probably the second/third busiest street in Monticello.  I had people laughing at me, waiving at me, smiling at me and I know they were wishing they were me!  On the way back to my house - Brittney Spears came on (well she was on several times before that) and I actually started "running".  Now I'm not gonna say it was real running, it looked like I probably had to pee or poop - but for me that was running.  Then I got all smiley and happy and people started waiving at me - was kinda fun.
• Weight update:  I stayed the same this week.  Like I said, it's hard coming off of an almost 5 lb weight loss and still lose again the next week.  But I feel like I'm back in August / September where I'm losing a few weeks and gaining the other weeks.  I didn't like it then and I don't like it now.  Hopefully once my body gets used to the exercise I'll just start dropping weight again.

So that was kind of a good seguay into my next topic.  Goal setting... it's about time I announce my goal.  Usually I hang onto that information because I don't want to be judged or held to it if I decide to change my mind... but really the goal weight hasn't changed.  My goal weight is 155.  The time frame is what I have set... I'm turning 40 next October.  I'd like to be at my goal weight by my 40th birthday.  My husband and I did the math Sunday night and it's about 8.8 lbs a month for me to reach that goal.  That's a little scary to me, but I'm gonna try my hardest.

I think it's good to have goals and mostly my goals are mini goals... like to get to the next 5# or in the next 10's... like from 190 to 180, etc.  So I leave you with this today - make sure to set goals for yourself.  Even if it's not the END goal, because without goals you can get yourself off track.  Your goal doesn't even necessarily have to do with a weight loss - maybe get through the next weekend without over indulging.  Get through the "party" without snacking on the crap foods or drinking only 3 beers instead of 6.  Little things.  They do count and you'll be happy you did it.  I know I usually am (except my scrapbooking incident - unfortunately still beating myself up about it).

My goal for next week is to get that 60 lbs AND into that next set of 10's - which means I need to lose 2.8 lbs.  I can do it, I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.  You can too, you can too, you can too... we just need to visualize it and make it happen!

Have a great week!

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Jillian Michaels, oh how I hate you!

Well, I made it to day 7.  I dislike her, wait no, I hate her :)  and I love her at the same time.  I've been doing great, I can see an increase in my ability to do more and more of the moves each day - but I'm worried.  It seems like every other day that I do it, my left foot hurts.  Hurts bad.  Like I have to stop doing a few moves because it's pulling on my arch.  I do have plantar fasciitis - I hope I'm not irritating it and going to be having more problems... because I've worked very hard to make it better.

AND... yesterday I think I re-injured my leg.  I'm not sure if it's my groin, my hip flexor or what the hell it is... but I hurt it two years ago and it's never been the same since... but it's been manageable.  On my way home from work yesterday moving my leg from the gas pedal to the break - it started hurting real bad.  Last night, HORRIBLE - every time I tried to turn over it was like piercing pain and woke me up.

UGH.  Well, we'll see how it feels when I get home tonight.  If it still hurts, I'm still going to try to do the video.  If it doesn't hurt MORE after that, and I'm able to do the video, then I will continue.  If not, I think I need a visit to the doctor :*( BOOOOOO!!!

Wish me luck, because I need it.  I need to be able to continue this video and meet my goal.  I also need some recommendations of some other goal-oriented video's for when I am done with this one... so if you have any suggestions - let me hear 'em!

I cannot wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Motivation

I have several things to write about today, but will start off with this... I was a ROCK STAR this week.  I really buckled down (even though I wasn't perfect).  I kicked up my exercise - well I've really been doing that the last few weeks.  I started a Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred on Tuesday.  I have had this DVD since April and told myself that I would start it this weekend.  Well... that didn't quite happen, but I did take the plastic off the package so I get points for touching the video right?

Anyway - I did start.  I'm in pain... and I want to puke every time I need stand up, sit, walk, etc.  It's a good feeling to have as I haven't had this in a LONG time.  But it does hurt and I remember every second of the last time I went through this... except it was with a live trainer back in 2002.  I'm on day 3 right now and I'm not sure how I'm gonna pull it off, being that I can't walk right now.  It hurts my knees, my flapping belly and my feet.  So hopefully I can push through all of that and maybe it will get better... so wish me luck.  I feel like I should take today off but I know I really should push through.  If JM was in my house she'd be screaming at me right now... oh and then wanna talk about why I let myself get so fat.  (I don't know the answer to that, other than I really like food... oh and I was a bit depressed for a while too, but that just made me get even fatter).

Soooo... whew.  We got that out now.

My topic today is MOTIVATION.  Apparently I'm a motivator, I mean I kinda knew I was for a few ladies out there (hi, I know you read now) but I've been told more and more by others and even by my WW Leader (((shout out to Polly... she's AWESOME.)))

Side Note:  I didn't think I'd find one that I liked better than Judy (for those of you who know who she was you understand that this is HUGE).  If you're in Monticello MN - she's the leader there on Thursdays (AM - PM) and I know she's a leader elsewhere - maybe Buffalo MN too??  FIND HER.  She's funny, she's smart and she's a great leader!

I also have a group of ladies at work that tell me I am motivating them.  What they don't know is that they motivate me too (yes you do ladies).  I love our lunch room chats, skype conversations and watching them succeed.  I can tell when they are on track, off track and need some help.  I know that they can tell that about me too.

In addition to that I have my WW group.  Back in September (I think) I talked about the stupid Nelson's Ice Cream incident I had... and how much ice cream I ate.  Oh, and that I actually wrote it down and tracked it. Well, one day I did a weigh and go and on my way to my car this lady stopped me.  She said that I was a total inspiration to her and that she thought to herself this week (back then) that if I could track 23 points in ice cream that she would do the same.  Even if it put her over her points for the day (believe me... I was over too).  That was truly inspiring and actually I left that day from WW early because I was feeling down (I think I gained that week... and not because of ice cream).

Anyway - what I want you to know is that even though someone else inspires you... YOU are inspiring others.  Don't give up.  EVER.  You know you can do it.  Keep that eye on the prize - whatever that prize may be to you.  Set your  mini-goals and achieve them.  It feels good, trust me - I've now met more of my mini's than I ever thought I would... and it's because of the support system I have.  Work, family, friends and yes, even strangers.

Please leave comments and tell me what motivates you?  Is there something that I'm doing to motivate you?  Is there something that I could do to help motivate you?  Oh, and follow my blog.  I need followers.  Some day I hope to have sponsors and I can't get that if I don't have followers :)  You can sign up for email notices of when I post too... that way you'll never miss a post (if you care).

So I bet you're wondering how I did this week?  I lost 4.8 lbs this week, my total is now 58.8 (1.2 away from posting another picture of my progress).  What is my goal next week?  Well TRULY it's 2.8, but really I'd be ecstatic over the 1.2 so I can hit that 60 lbs.

What are my challenges this week?

1. I'm alone again this weekend (EEK)... I usually don't do as well when I'm alone.
2.  I have my nephew coming over on Saturday for a sleep over... he's super picky but loves pizza (just like his aunty)
3. I have a lunch next week, where we have a groupon for the sushi buffet.  BUFFET.  I'll be mentally preparing myself to have some self control that day... it's 2 days before weigh in.  I can do this!

I really hope that by reading this blog that I'm able to inspire you... I mean look at my pictures - I was huge.  I still am in my mind but I'm almost 60 lbs less huge!  

Take care and please... leave me comments, sign up for email notifications as well as become a member of my blog.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Be Prepared

I had a decent weekend --  food and exercise wise.  I didn't do the exercise I told myself I would do, but I still got some in.

I'm writing to today to tell you that this week, although challenging, has been MUCH better than my previous week.  I showed more self control (granted not enough) than the weekend prior and can feel myself getting back into the grove of things.

What I wanted to post about though is being prepared.  I have a lunch today that I forgot about and being that I wasn't perfect over the weekend, I definitely want to show myself that I can still be in control.  So I looked up salads from this place we're going to (that actually had the nutritional values posted on their website - PERFECT).  I signed up for online ordering and ordered my lunch.  So not only did I force myself to make a good decision, I also can't change my mind when I get there to something less healthy.

This worked out perfectly for me... and I suggest that you try doing the same to a restaurant that you will be visiting soon.  If you can't pre-order online, at least look it up before you go.  Then write down what you will order - and MAKE yourself order what is on that piece of paper of yours.

We are not perfect, but we can be prepared!

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

The Show Must Go On!!!

I have to apologize for the negative post from earlier this week... let me tell you though, it didn't get easier or better this week.  I would do really well during the day at work and then at night I was SOOOO hungry.  In my defense though (I really hate making excuses but...) I think I hit the trifecta this week - Scrapbooking (crappy food), Home (there is Nutella in my house why?) and I got the lady friend (or enemy depending on how you feel about it - oh and I guess you are all getting to know my cycle pretty well - HOW EMBARRASSING).  NOTHING could get me full this week - until it was too late!

However on the flip side I did do some really positive things this week and that was exercise my arse off... while on VACATION!!!

• I started Wednesday morning last week with going to water aerobics (with the lady that works you really hard... we have conflicting personalities and I dislike her personality as much as I like her for her works outs)!  I did this before I met my mom for coffee and left for scrapbooking... had to get up at 6:15 AM on my DAY OFF!!!
• Thursday :  I left the retreat (which was only in Buffalo) to head into Monticello for weight watchers.  I lost 3.6 lbs (as you know) last week.  That was some great motivation for me to leave again later that night to go to water aerobics (with the lady that works you really hard... we have conflicting personalities and I dislike her personality as much as I like her for her works outs)!
• Friday:  I left the retreat AGAIN (had to get up at 6:15 AM on my DAY OFF) to go to the gym for water aerobics (with the lady that works you really hard... we have conflicting personalities and I dislike her personality as much as I like her for her works outs)!
• Saturday:  A hand full of us at the retreat wend for a 2 mile walk (well two of us are the only ones that made it the full two miles)... and the lady I walked with walks as fast as my freakin husband (which is walking slow for him) so I had to keep up - I shaved off almost 1 minute from my mile time.
• Sunday: I went for a 3.57 mile walk all by myself... I intentionally walked a slower mile (plus almost two minutes onto my normal time).
• Monday:  I went to water aerobics... the normal lady was back from vacation.  I did NOT work out very hard on Monday :(

I'll have you know that I have never ONCE worked out while at a scrapbooking retreat - let alone even go for a walk.  So that was a HUGE win for me.

So even though my portion sizes of my meals were large, my snacking was WAY OUT OF CONTROL... I still kept in the back of my head that I had to do something to combat the bad with the good of exercising - The Show Must Go On! 

Now lets get to the good stuff... what you care about - did I gain or lose this week?  I GAINED 2.2 LBS.  However even though I gained this week, I know that it would have been MUCH worse if I hadn't worked out at all.  Here's to hoping for a better upcoming week - my eye is still on the prize so don't be surprised to hear about a big come-back next week!

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Heartburn City!!!

Planning for the previous week did work well for me... however I was afraid for this past weekend with my retreat, with good reason -  it ended up being as bad as I thought it would be.  I had very little will power for chocolate and my portion sizes for my meals were like they were before I started weight watchers.  I'm not sure what happened to me but I just couldn't stop eating... and it showed!

Saturday was my worst day - I ate so much that I didn't feel well for most of the day.  I knew at the time when shoving more and more food into me that I didn't feel well and couldn't stop myself from eating more (and more).  I went to bed super full and sure enough, I awoke at about 3:15 am with heartburn... I rolled over and there it was.  A bit came up and went down the wrong tube :(.  I got up quick and went out of the room so that I could continue to cough and swallow for about one full hour.

I drank two bottles (plus) of water and then I was left full again.  I tried to lay back down but because of being so full of water, it was making it worse... but that was the only thing that made me feel better (for a second).  I ate a banana thinking that I could get some of that burning out of my system - no dice.  More full and more miserable then.

I tried lying down twice before giving up for about an hour... I ended up sitting in a dark room by myself with my mother worrying about me in the other room.  I was in pain, embarrassed and pissed off at myself for not controlling the eating for the day.  Also not sure why I didn't just take a heart burn pill before going to bed (pride?).  Anyway - I was up until at least 5:30 am before I was able to lay back down... with success of falling back asleep.

I woke up with a sore throat, feeling full and miserable.  Most of it went away, but I can still feel a little bit of the effects today (still) and it's Tuesday.  The only good to come out of this story is that when this happens (it has only happened a FEW times in my life - unfortunately two of those with my mom at the retreats) it scares me enough to really think about what I did and how to combat it next time.

The next retreat is in January so there's much time that will lapse between now and then - but I can guarantee I won't forget it and will do much better next time.

I'll tell you more about my week / weekend on my Thursday post!

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Planning for a disaster worked!!

Well hello there, can you already tell (maybe by the post title) that I did well this week?  I did!  I lost 3.6 lbs, got my next 5 lb "star" and am down a total of 56.2 lbs.  It was a very challenging week, but I did well.  By planning for the cook - off event, I did prevail!!!

So let's rehash my week, My goals were:

• Work out at least 3 times - met this goal
• Get my 100% on my activity link 3 times - surpassed this goal - I met 100% on 4 days and 2 days I was 97/99%.  So this was a good exercise week!
• Work out Saturday - whether it's a walk or actually getting my ass to the gym (I think the elliptical is  calling my name again... EEK) - I did not go to the gym, BUT I ended up having an impromptu photo shoot and did plenty of walking through a park.
• Clean my house (that should get me at least 100% one day AND count for my work out)  - I only had to clean half the house because of the photo shoot, my dear husband did a lot of cleaning for us.
• Make smart choices on Sunday's event. - I ate all of the casseroles but I did well because I accounted for everything I ate as best I could.

I know we've talked about planning, writing everything down, making sure to get exercise in - blah blah blah.  BUT as you can see it works.  I cannot stress this enough.  I know that I'm on Weight Watchers and some of you may not be... but whatever you are doing I'm sure it involves some sort of tracking of what you put in that pie whole of yours.

If you remember last week I was worried about the next two weeks... well I'm in week two, at the scrapbooking retreat and listen to this... our meals are:  Mac & Cheese (buffalo and grown up type); pork chops & sauerkraut, breakfast of eggs bacon sausage tortillas - etc; another breakfast meal... the list goes on and on.  Let's not forget about all the effin treats people bring.  UGH.

Anyway - my goal is to lose weight this week but also to be able to have some of the treats and be able to eat the meals everyone else does.  So what does that mean for me?  That means that I'm leaving the retreat to go to water aerobics tonight, tomorrow morning, next Monday and trying to get a walk in some other time this week.  I can't add in staying within my points because that's going to be hard - therefore I'll have to keep the work out intensity up.

With that said - I'm going to keep up with some major planning, making smart choices on the treats that I eat - making them WORTH the choice.  So wish me luck... I don't have any other advice this week except to reiterate the importance of keeping track of what goes in your mouth at all times (make sure it's worth it) and exercise.

If you have any great tips for me this weekend (I'm here until Sunday) please do share as I'll need the help this week.

I hope you have a great week and I'll be thinking about you this week.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

I like to move it, move it!

Well I made two of my three my goals from last week:

1. Made my 100% 3x this week (but it should have been 4... because I worked out hard one day and didn't get credit).
2. Didn't use all of my extra points

What I didn't make was the 0.8 lb weight loss, I gained 1.6... but you know what, that's ok!  I am soooo not discouraged at all... read on and you'll see why!

Yesterday I woke up and literally felt heavier.  Sho'nuff, I weighed myself and I was up 2 lbs.  I thought it was because the pills I take got a little messed up, but after thinking more about it I couldn't figure out what was really messed up about them.  Then I thought maybe I'm retaining water from my walks I've been taking because my feet/legs feel heavy...   I don't know.  Regardless I don't really care.  I know that I did better this week than I have in a long time and didn't feel like I was naughty going into this weigh in.

This is how I got my exercise in this week:

• Thursday: water aerobics - this is the one that didn't count and I worked my ass of, I mean it showed up on my activity link but I didn't get enough credit for it in my mind :)
• Monday: water aerobics - I was NOT going to let that happen again so I worked even harder and stayed another 15 minutes after class just moving around in the pool.  I still had some activity I needed to do when I got home so I kept myself busy until I saw that 100%
• Tuesday:  I went for a nice long walk on Tuesday night with my husband (2.5 miles... we're walking at about a 17:24 minute mile - pretty good clip for me).
• Wednesday:  I walked to my hair appointment.  Let me repeat, I walked to my hair appointment.  I was so proud of myself.  It was just shy of 1 mile to walk there and when I got home I was at 98% of my goal so I knew I would make it by the time I went to bed.  All I had to do was walk out to my mailbox to get my mail and I had my 100%.

My water aerobics instructor is going to be out of town now for 2 weeks... so I told her that I'd teach the class on the down low.  Which is great for me because I have to be there and I can't make up excuses for why I can't go... even though I normally don't because I really like water aerobics.

Getting back to my week and what's ahead for me:

I ate really bad Friday night but for the rest of the week I did fairly well.  I'm not unsatisfied with that at all.  I'm, also not unsatisfied with my results this week because I know that my hard work will show up in the next couple of weeks... which are going to be REALLY tough for me.  The next two weeks include:

• This week:
• Saturday - the hubs and I are going out to dinner to celebrate our anniversary... I'm sure a steak is in my future.  I'm going to do my very best to only eat half of my meal and take the other half home for leftovers.
• Sunday:  family cook off.  We celebrate fall birthdays each year with a cook off competition (I won last year with the mac&cheese contest... I made reuben mac & cheese).  This year it's casseroles... I'm pretty sure that no one is going to make a healthy version of a casserole.  My goal is to take a little bit of each casserole but to have a salad on hand to make up the difference on my plate.  Wish me luck - I'm making King Ranch Chicken Casserole.
• Next week - scares the ever living shit out of me... Wednesday - Sunday we are going scrapbooking with 10 ladies.  Everyone brings a meal to share - so I have no control over what I'm eating really... so I'll have to control the portions and my snacking.  The good news about this trip is that it's in buffalo.  So I have the option to drive to the gym and get my work outs in (which I truly think I'll do on Thursday and Friday) and I will be able to weigh in on Thursday.  I'll be missing some prime scrapbooking time for this but I know it'll be worth it.

After my WW meeting this week, I chatted with one of the members (and she's a member of my blog too - Hi Kara) and she gave me a tip... hydrate BEFORE my walks.  Weigh myself before and after... and if I weigh less I was not hydrated enough and if I weigh more then I was too hydrated... the goal is to stay the same right after a work out.  Makes sense to me!

My goals for this week:

• Work out at least 3 times
• Get my 100% on my activity link 3 times
• Work out Saturday - whether it's a walk or actually getting my ass to the gym (I think the elliptical is  calling my name again... EEK)
• Clean my house (that should get me at least 100% one day AND count for my work out)
• Make smart choices on Sunday's event.

That's plenty!  

The recommendation I have for you this week (and I know I don't always practice what I preach) is find some activity that you like doing.  Exercise along with eating healthy can do nothing but produce results... even if you have to wait for those results.

But if you're like me and have ZERO patience for waiting... it's very hard to wait and sometimes a bit discouraging.

Seriously though... if you've read through my blogs you can see that I have had great results. Working out has now become a requirement to maintain and push forward my weight loss. Just this morning  I purchased another pair of tennies so that I can walk during my lunch hours.  I have at least one partner that wants to go with me... so I'm pretty excited for those to be shipped.  I hope they fit, I hate buying shoes online!

So the moral of my story this week is - figure out how you can get yourself to "like to move it" and don't give up, no matter what! Negative results on the scale are not always your fault (sometimes they are though... you know that right?!).  You need to keep your head up high, focus, eat healthy and exercise.  That's only 4 things you need to do (not too shabby).

Take care all and have a good, successful and healthy week!

I cannot wait until I'm healthfully ever after!

A little motivation goes a long way!

I thought I'd post this out here for you... this is my motivational picture (on the left) and what I look like as of Saturday (it was my birthday picture).  I bought the dress for a wedding in hopes that it looks just a little bit better on me in a month... I bought it for a wedding.

I'm a little over 1/3 of the way to my goal!  YAY me!!!

You say it's your birthday...

It was my birthday too yeah!  I had a fabulous, extremely busy birthday weekend.  It was incredibly fun, but full of food (of course).  I know that I'm not supposed to be all about food, especially since I've done so well to this point. But man, a girl's gotta live every once and a while!  You know those skinny bitches out there let loose once and a while too!

I went to two movies this weekend with my mommy (my best friend if you didn't know yet).  We got a large popcorn BOTH times and soda.  Even though I wanted that orange Fanta I ended up getting Diet Coke.  So a little win for me (go me!!!).  I ate at least (if not more) than half of each of those popcorn buckets, but hey - no butter was put on it so it's OK, right?  UGH no!  Regardless I made the conscious choice to eat it each time.  The second night of movie going was my idea to get the popcorn (damn movie popcorn).

On my birthday we went out for a very nice dinner (and the hubby got to go too - YAY!!!!).  I had two lamb chops (omg they were good but so frickin small!) and some potatoes and veggies were served with it.  I thought that was a fantastic, smart choice when I could have ordered a big 'ol steak!  I did have a glass of wine (oops forgot to count that :))... and for dessert - Brown Sugar Creme Brulee.  I ate the shit out of that.  That is one of my guilty pleasures and I deserved to have a birthday dessert right?

Other than that I did pretty well trying to make "decent" decisions and really tried to track what I was eating regardless.  Really that's what it's all about.  If not for tracking, I probably would have had a regular soda, more wine and who knows what else... Probably a caribou breakfast sandwich along with my two birthday Caribou drinks (oh don't worry I got the northern lite lattes as usual).  I did go over my points many days this week/weekend and used up all my extra point allowance plus some (a lot).  But even with that, I knew exactly what I was doing.

Anyway I wanted to write this post today to say - yeah it's OK to let loose once and a while... but deep down either write down what you're eating or mentally keep track of what you've eaten for the day (days) so you don't get to the point of no return.  You cannot get back into the habit of starting again tomorrow or next week.  No matter what you're doing today, it will affect tomorrow.  Make good decisions and maybe if there's three things you really want, then choose one of the three and take that as a win.  It's all about winning (and losing of course).  That inner battle you have going on in your head has to be overcome and if you take small steps towards that goal of yours, you will see results.

I did meet my goal from last week which was only to stay this same this week - anticipating a fun filled weekend... I actually lost .8 lbs.  So now my total is 54.2 lbs gone.  Very proud of that, but I have to be honest - I was scared as hell to find out if I did stay the same.  So today starts a new week and I need to set some goals for me.  I didn't exercise much this last week being sick and busy and all, so I definitely need to get that back in gear again.  I mean I can't stop now right?!

My Goals This week are:

• To exercise 3x this week... to make that 100% on my ActiveLink for those three days (at a minimum).  
• My second goal is to not use all of my extra points up.
• I want to lose .8 this week so that I can reach my 55 lb weight loss

I wish you all a good, healthy and smart week.  You can do it, shoot if I can - you can!  Remember that you are worth this battle.  It's not about being skinny (it shouldn't be), it's about being healthy for you... and your family.  Now let's get active!

I can't wait until I'm healthfully ever after.

Emotional Eating

I'll start off with did I meet my goals this week?!  And the answer is, I met 2 of the 3.  I came really close on two days to meeting my exercise goal, but didn't quite make it.  I'm guessing if I averaged it out, it would be though.  I actually lost 3.4lbs this week and I'm totally shocked.  You'll see that I stayed within my points... huh what a thought right?  But seriously... I just lost 2.6 lbs last week - I never thought I'd lose this much this week.  I'm elated!

So my goals this week were:

1. Post a picture of my progress (I did, finally... check it out!)
2. Meet my ActiveLink goal 5 days (let's be honest, 7 is tough for me right now) -- not met, not even close.  I got 3 out of 7 (even if I didn't get sick I wouldn't have met it... but would have been 4 out of 7)
3. Stay on track... after a big weight loss, my goal is just to stay the same next week.  (I think the big bad wolf will be here to try and counter act my weight loss this week) -- Yep I did this!!!  Only used the majority of my "extra" points and no extra-extra!!!

Anyway that's besides the point... the huge win for me this week is that I stayed within my allotted points... and by allotted, I mean those extra's they give you too.  It was NOT a good week for me emotionally.  I'm feeling very sorry for myself and couldn't get full a few days no matter what.  But the huge win for me was as upset as I got, I didn't turn to food to help me through my sadness... instead I kept telling myself about my end goal.  And how I want to get there - there will always be something that tries to throw me off and I just need to fight like a girl (I think girls are way tougher than men!!!).  Regardless, I'm sure you're just dying to know why I'm sad.

I'm sad because I'm so selfish.  It's like I'm an only child sometimes... and I can't help it.  It's my birthday this Saturday and my birthdays have always been special... well until I met my husband.  He doesn't think they are a big deal AT ALL.  He tends to disappoint me on my birthday each year (sorry honey, it's true).  He doesn't understand why I think they are a big deal... and frankly neither do I.  It is just another day really... but my mom and family always made big deals about birthdays.  They were always celebrated and usually with a bunch of family.  I'm not so big on having the big family celebrations anymore but I still like it to be a special day.

So with that said... the year we got married my husband's friends/family started a pheasant hunting weekend (they left the night of our wedding after the ceremony and friggin' awesome party).  The year after we got married my husband decided that not only was he going to be a deer hunter, he was also going to be a pheasant hunter and join in on their fun.  I'm cool with that, really... because I like my "free to be me" time.  But this trip always falls on my birthday AND our anniversary pretty much every year (since they are two days apart).  And usually he's super crabby getting ready for it; so not only does he not have time to make my day special, he's not here for it and is super crabby and sometimes down right mean to me.  He has missed our 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 5th and 6th anniversary because of this trip.  Again, I would never tell him not to go but really resent the fact that it's always during this time.  Oh and guess what, SURPRISE he doesn't think anniversaries are a big deal either.

Every year I look to see which weekend the pheasant opener is in North Dakota.  Every year it give a tentative date and hasn't changed in the 6 years he's gone.  This year is the same deal, it said it was this weekend.  So I made a bunch of plans with my mom to go up to Brainerd (only because I have a photo shoot on Saturday - my bday) and stay the weekend.  Then I find out that my steps son's homecoming game is that Saturday too.  So, because I'm a good step mom, I want to attend that... but now that's over 1/2 my day spent on other people.  So I decided to take Friday off and go up on Friday morning so that I can get some more fun time in with my mom (she's awesome and if you know her, you agree with me I'm sure).  Ok, that's still sounds like a decent weekend right?

Well!!! My husband calls me on Monday night (as he was going up to Brainerd to see his son play in the JV game... I stayed home so that I could go to water aerobics).  Guess what he tells me?  This year Pheasant opener is next weekend, not this weekend.  EFF!  So now I feel super guilty that I'm leaving him, but am too selfish not to change my plans.  Plus I couldn't do that last minute to my mom either (but really it's all about me).  And he's been kinda off this week since that all happened.  I did invite him to go to dinner with us on Saturday night and he is coming so that makes me feel much better... and I arranged for my sister to take care of the dogs... but still can't get over this feeling... and being mad that I'm so selfish.

AND, get this!!!  I started to feel sick on my way home from work on Tuesday.  Yesterday was horrible... I went to work for an hour, left and came home and laid in bed ALL DAY and NIGHT... hence the no exercise yesterday.  So, now I'm sick... hoping I get better by the weekend... but not likely.  I can't take pictures of a 6 month old if I'm sick... I can't get her or her family sick.  I don't have time to reschedule it :(  And I don't want to disappoint them... and most of all I don't want my whole weekend to be effed up because of being sick.  This just sucks.  

I tell you all of this because I want you to understand my big win.  I repeat... through all of this I've tracked all my points and stayed within them.  If this was last year... I would have ate everything in our house, gone grocery shopping and ate all that food and we would have probably gone out to eat too!  So no matter what happens on the scale this week, I am still a winner!  Being that I'm so competitive (even with my own self), it feels really good!

I did hit the grocery yesterday and bought gelato!!!  Not my favorite, but it was the lowest point ice cream-ish type thing I could have and still weigh in today and feel good about myself.  So I guess that's a HUGE win too!

I apologize for the horribly long post, but in order for you to understand my big win - you needed to hear my life story this week.

My goals for this week are:

1. Stay on track
2. Stay the same weight for next week - being that it's my birthday weekend and all... I'm going to be at a place where every meal will be eaten out... so breakfast / lunches will be healthy but I'm going to go hog wild for dinski (probably won't but it sounds good doesn't it?).

I hope you have a good week and can stay away from the emotional eating... It's sooooooo hard to do, but in the long run it will pay off and you know it will!  You must keep your end goal (make sure it's not a weight loss number... but maybe a pant size or a "feeling").  Please leave me a comment about some of your emotional eating struggles and how you handled them... even if it was going for the emotional eating.  It only helps the rest of us.

I can't wait until I'm healthfully ever after!

... and after all that drama

Well admitting you have a problem is the first step right?  I cried out for help this week... I told all of you (all 3 of you LOL) that I cheated on Saturday and Monday... and boy did I!  I even admitted what I did to my WW group this week.  Well, I only told them about the ice cream (24 pts in ice cream... damn you Nelson in Stillwater, why do you carry Licorice Chip Ice Cream???).  I had a photo session this weekend in Stillwater and wanted to get down there with plenty of time to spare... I mean it's ok for them to be late (which they weren't) but mo def not good for the photographer to be late.  So I meandered through Stillwater and my car (the devil on my shoulder was thinking it the whole time) just drove to Nelsons... I feet walked me in that front door and walked me out the door with 2 cups of licorice chip ice cream.  How dare they!  My ActiveLink didn't even recognize that walk into the store!

Anyway - I needed to give you a laugh right?

I did have a bad week this week.  I set my goal to meet my ActiveLink goal all 7 days.  I met it 3.  UGH... so close 3 of the 4 days I didn't make it.  I used my extra - extra points.  I did go to my water aerobics classes... but obviously not enough.  I think my saving grace was my two photo shoots... they kept me moving and my hands busy editing so no extra food was able to enter this temple of a body I have.

I say that I had a bad week but at the same time I had a fabulous week.  A dude at work actually told me I was wasting away to nothing (OMG I still have 100 lbs to lose).  I laughed and said that would NEVER be a description for me... and I thanked him for noticing and said I am working very hard at it.  He said "well is sure shows!"  How nice was that?

Well I tell you that to tell you this.  Last go round at WW, I had lost 93 lbs.  I know I told you that before, but the reason why I bring it up is that for those of you who have already lost a significant amount of weight - you need to know / hear this.  Once I lost about 75, I had people telling me not to lose any more weight.  That I was starting to look sick to them.  That I looked great, but don't do much more.  Well I fought it and fought it and did get myself down to my goal weight.  For maybe 1 week.  Then I gained 5 lbs... and hung onto that for probably a year.  So I never go lifetime and all the while thinking, oh that's fine.  I did it, I love where I'm at and I HOPE I never go back to where I was.  WRONG answer!!!  Hope is not the answer... the answer is I will NEVER go back to where I was... and this is where I'm at today.

You must not let those people who tell you to stop get to you.  Yes you look great, yes you're super healthy - healthier than you ever have been.  BUT you have a goal... now I'm not saying that you need to lose weight until you have lost too much - and too much meaning below the recommended standards.  I was at the tip of the standards.  The WW top goal weight for my height.  I was NOT sickly looking... shit I looked great and I will get to that state again!  I guarantee it.

Wish me luck because I'm on a friggin' role... after all that drama, I have met my 50 lbs weight loss this week... which was my goal as I walked out of WW last week.  I wanted to lose that 2.6 lbs this week.  Even though I thought it was unrealistic... obviously my body was ready to shed that weight.  I hope that you stay motivated enough to keep yourself on track for your goal... whatever that may be.

I will definitely get a picture of me posted... I know I didn't do it for my 45 lbs like I said I would.  If I can figure out my scanner I will post that picture of me that I swear I will get back to.

My goals for this week:

1. Post a picture of my progress
2. Meet my ActiveLink goal 5 days (let's be honest, 7 is tough for me right now)
3. Stay on track... after a big weight loss, my goal is just to stay the same next week.  (I think the big bad wolf will be here to try and counter act my weight loss this week)

Take care and have a great week... please leave me comments, suggestions, thoughts for the week.  I need them, I need to stay on my honeymoon!!!

I can't wait until I'm healthfully ever after!

Rough Week Huh...

Uh oh... I'm having a bad week.  I cannot get full, I cheated many times (Sat/Mon) and am over my points, my extra points and my activity points!  What can I do to get back on track?

Well I have to tell you that it's not easy... LOL like you didn't know that.  What's worse is that the foods I'm over eating on are NOT worth it at all.  Pretzels?  Why in the world did I even buy them?  Rosemary Almonds from Trader Joe's - WTF!!!  (don't try those, they are fabulous... but you can see that they have some type of coating on them to get the rosemary to stick to them... oh and the salty goodness).

I normally don't have cravings for foods like that.  Normally I crave a juicy burger, ice cream (ughh... had that too.  Went to Nelsons in Stillwater and got a kids version (if you know that place, you know a small is basically two cups worth of premium ice cream) and ATE IT ALL.  After that went and got a latte - OMG what am I doing to myself - because I had time to waste.

Anyway - I blew that day away...

Then I was good on Sunday... then Monday came.  I brought the almonds and pretzels to work with me.  BAD MISTAKE!!!  I ate the rest of the bag of pretzels (probably 6 1/2 oz of pretzels) AND probably 2 1/2 servings of those damn almonds.  By the time I was done with that, I was out of points for the day.  Really out!  Over. UGH!!!  And I hadn't eaten dinner... I had two string cheese and about 8 oz chicken.

Sooooo... today comes. I'm home, working.  I'm hungry.  I'm determined to get back on track.   We have no food in the house.  I can't leave, waiting for Fedex to get here with my phone.  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!!!

Well, I do have one lean cuisine dinner upstairs.  I guess that's lunch.  But dinner... oh dinner.  I have a photo shoot tonight, so I'm going to have to either eat after that (which would be 7:30 - 8) or pick something up on my way.  I think it's a Subway night tonight (I hate Subway)... but I'm determined to get through this.

I know what it is... and if you're a girl, you do too!!!  I hate this time of the month... it's the storm before the storm!  There's no calm before the storm in these instances.

Well if you're struggling too - please let me know.  I need to know what you're doing to get through it.  I need help!!!

Take care and wish me luck.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Desk Job... UGH

Well I always start out telling you how I did for the week, I did fine.  I lost .4 lbs this week.  Did I meet my goal from last week?   Do you remember what it was?  It was to meet my ActiveLink goal each day.  I did not meet my goal, but shit... I came so close.  There were two days of the 7 that I didn't meet or exceed my goal... and if I average it all out - I did meet it.  So I'm not down on myself at all, but I do need to step it up - no excuses.  If I want it, I need to earn it!

Anyway onto my topic of DESK JOB.  Do you know how hard it is to move enough during the day when you have a desk job?  How it affects your life and how much harder you need to work after work to get enough exercise in for the day?  OMG I sure do.  Over the last week, I've watched my numbers through ActiveLink and honestly... I do not move much when I'm at work.  So this week, I tried getting up more to get water... and drinking it faster than normal.  Which made me get up more to go pee.  So I did move much more this week, but it's tough to do when you've got a crap ton of things going on and meetings to attend.  So next week I need to figure something else out.  Maybe I don't take that hour lunch - maybe I take a half hour and walk outside for a half hour.  I know many people at work would do that with me if I asked.  So that's what I'm going to do... first probably do it myself then ask others to join.  I'm easily influenced to not do things, so what I'm going to do is walk first - then eat.  Eating will be my own little reward.

I have to elaborate more on my topic too... because I'm watching my husband struggle now with having a desk job.  All his adult life he's had physical jobs.  In the last 4 months, his company has brought him in the office to start bidding on jobs instead of in the field working the jobs.  I've seen him put on quite a bit of weight in the last few months and just recently have heard him say how fat he's getting and I can see it's affecting him. When we met, he probably weighed 30lbs less than he does now... or actually not sure how much he weighs now it could be an even larger number.  He gained weight with me, but definitely not at the rate or amount than I did and I've felt super guilty about the amount I've gained... so I cannot fault him for gaining at all.  Since I gained probably 120 since he's met me... that's a whole fricken person!!!

Anyway, I don't want to say I'm happy about it at all, but in a way I am because I don't think he ever understood how it was to have an office job.  You see a physical job wears you out physically... (duh) but these friggin desk jobs wear you out mentally.  I think that's almost worse... then when you're tired from that you want nothing else to do in the evening but wind down and relax. So, I'm just glad he can now see it from my point of view... although I don't think we'll ever see it the same since he's never really had a "weight" problem like I have.  I do think he's on the verge of doing something about his weight gain... so hopefully we can work on it together some more.  He's been great for me through my weight loss so far and I'll definitely be there for him because it will only help the both of us!

I feel like I just totally rambled on... I hope all of that made sense and doesn't seem so jumbled.  I do feel a bit jumbled these days - so please forgive me.

So, what are my goals this week????

I am not giving up on making that exercise 7 days a week goal, there's NO reason why I can't when I can go for a 40 minute walk and make my goal every day. I did OK with food this week, so I don't think I need to make a food goal... especially with having an exercise goal again.

Please let me know if there's a special topic that you'd like me to address... if you're a FB friend of mine and are not comfortable leaving a comment here... message me privately on FB.

Take care and good luck this week!

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Baby Steps... Mini-goals work!!!

So last week I set a goal to lose 1.2 lbs this week because I wanted to his my 45 lb mark.  Well guess what... I'm sure you can guess judging by what my post title is... I did it.  Not only did I do it, I blew passed it.  I lost 3.2 lbs this week.

What did I do differently you may ask.  Nothing.  Not a darn thing... except maybe moving a little more.  I was in the assessment period through Sunday so I didn't want to increase my activity to something that wasn't "normal" for me just yet.  However, I was out scouting places to take some good family and senior portraits that I have coming up so I got some good walking in.  I also went to my water aerobics class on Thursday night but that's now my new normal so I was OK with that being included (sadly disappointed that it didn't register as much... hoping tonight will be better).  So honestly... walking is what did it for me this week.

Last night I told my husband I was going to go for a walk and asked if he wanted to come along (I now have my goal to make (thanks ActiveLink) and was so close that I just wanted to make it for a day) and he said YES.  I know I shouldn't be so excited, it's not like we have any moving conversations while we walk... we hardly even talk really, it's just nice to have someone to walk with that walks faster than I do.  I have to keep up with him, so it pushes me more.  We walked 2 miles at a 22 minute mile clip.  So nothing earth shattering but seriously if you saw me you would have thought I had ran a marathon.  Right now, that's fast for me... anyway I was at 83% of my daily ActiveLink goal and zero activity points earned for the day when we left for our walk.  When I got back I was at 146% and had earned 5 activity points... all in 44 minutes!  It felt great and I was so happy to have reached a goal.

When I woke up this morning I knew that it helped and that I did well this week.  I felt lighter and that makes me a happy girl!

So did I meet my goals I set from last week???
Well... mostly.  I did end up going into extra-extra points (bad Tabitha!!!), but I also did get my exercising in (Good Girl)... oh and I got a mini-balance ball work out in yesterday (could only handle 10 minutes).  Although you may not agree that I accomplished my goal, I do.  Trust me, that helps... because if you (and this is your inner person speaking to you) see it as a failure, then you may let it drag you down.  One of the quotes I heard in the meeting room today was "You cannot change yesterday, but you can change today!"  Ummm, yeah.  I always say, don't let the man bring you down!  Oh and... Donna Martin graduates!!!  (only those that watched the OLD 90210 will think that's funny - hopefully)

Anyway what will I be challenging myself with this week? Exercise, Exercise, Exercise!  Not just 3x this week.  I want to meet my ActiveLink goal EVERY DAY.  EEK... I hate saying that out loud, but it's true.  So wish me luck, I need it!!!  I think that's the only challenge I need for the week... baby steps right?!

I do not have a "weight loss" goal for the week only because losing 3.2 lbs in one week at this stage of the game may result in a smaller weight loss next week. (If you've done this as long and as many times as I have, then you know this)  It would be great to lose another 3 and hit my 50lbs, but not realistic, so I'm not touching that one... but stay tuned for a picture of me - since I met my 45lbs... I promised I'd post a picture.  I want to have my husband take one of me with the "good camera" so it'll be later this week when you see it. YAY GO ME!!!

Good luck to you this week and remember it's all about baby steps and mini goals... If you're like me and have such a LONG journey ahead, then thinking about the end just makes you too overwhelmed and may discourage you... so think small and make smaller more attainable goals.  This will benefit you more than you think it would!

Please follow my blog (so I know there are people out there)... and leave me a comment on what you'd like me to talk about.  Trust me, I've been through it ALL... and I like to "talk."

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!!!

Total and Utter Disappointment

Well this is three fold for me...

1) My ActiveLink didn't give me ANY points for water aerobics.  WHAT?  That shit is tough, as long as you make it that way.  Could be that it was because I didn't move pretty much the whole day except for that... but I wanted to see what Weight Watchers counted it as since I've counted it for 3-4 points before.  EEK.

2) I did get exercise in this weekend, but not what I said I was going to do... I wanted to make myself do the balance ball and didn't.

3) I overate more than just the 2 days that I said I would AND am into my extra extra points (beyond the extra they give you) so my exercise points will have to go towards that stuff :(

ActiveLink Results:
Saturday I earned 4 activity PointsPlus values and Sunday I earned 2.

BUT what is exciting is that I did get a goal set for my ActiveLink - they want me to get 3 extra activity points per day.  Yikes... that's actually a lot of activity for someone as lazy as I am.  I guess i need to step it up a whole hell of a lot!

Lets see if I can work off the remaining 19 points that I'm over this week... eeek!!!

Walking Is Good

I'd love to tell you that I did exceptionally well this week, but that's just not the case.  I did in fact lose 0.6 lbs, bringing my total to 43.8, so I am definitely proud of that.  Today marked my 25th week of being on Weight Watchers and I'm averaging 1.2 lbs of weight loss each week.  That's definitely in the healthy range of weight loss, but if you're like me... you would want more!!!

Well, to be honest... in order to get more, you've got to give more.  For the last two weeks, I have lost.  I've actually lost 3.4 lbs which is great...  BUT not deserved.  I have not been as "on track" as I have been for the majority of my 25 weeks.  I will take these losses, but challenge them back.

I want to hit my 45 lb weight loss mark next week so that I can post another picture of myself for you.  Trying to do it every 5lb's so that you can see the progress.  So that's my goal.

Now to get onto the good stuff... the REAL stuff.  I've had many many conversations with people already through this journey and I have to tell you.  You have to want it, you have to want it bad.  You can't rely on anyone else but yourself.  It's great having the support, and I do have that, but honestly if I'm not losing weight or not eating as good as I "want" to... I cannot blame anyone but myself.

I have a friend that I talk with on a regular basis.  We use each other to "discuss" what we've done, what we need to do and how we can do it better.  She relies heavily on her husband to help her... or did.  She would tell me how upset she would get because he's not helping her cut up the veggies when they get home from the grocery store, he's not helping with making and planning the meals, he's not this - he's not that!  I was getting a little frustrated with her but didn't know how to express that without coming across like a total bitch (sorry if you're reading this friend, but unfortunately it's true).  I mean seriously, it's not up to him to lose your weight.

This is exactly what I mean by you need to want it.  Others can want it just as bad for you (MOM I'm talking to you) but you need to make that decision, you need to want it, it's all YOU.  Not anyone else but YOU!

So, instead of pointing fingers and saying something rude that I wouldn't mean... and I definitely didn't want it to come across like that, I explained how I'm doing it.  My husband is super supportive.  He doesn't complain about what I'm eating, making, etc.  BUT he's not helping me DO anything.  He hasn't been to the grocery store for real grocery shopping in YEARS.  I do all of that.  If I don't cut up the veggies, he doesn't eat them.  If I don't plan the meals, we eat crap.  So really, I'm doing it all myself.  I'm not relying on him for that at all.  BUT what he is doing is not complaining.  So by explaining that to her, I think I broke through... but then the weekends hit.

I'm not a drinker by any means.  I used to be, don't get me wrong... I put on that freshman 50 (I know it's supposed to be 15, but in my case it was 50).  I definitely choose food over alcohol... but sounds like that's more difficult for her.  But she did say, the last time she lost a lot of weight she was NOT drinking as much.  She also makes bad choices... more often than not (from what I gather).  However, that all seems to be changing for her too.  So that's awesome and I will be there for support as long as she needs it.

However, I do get disappointed when I hear some of the stories and excuses.  I totally own up to what I put in my mouth, I write everything down (by write, I mean track on my phone and computers), I follow plan more than not.  BUT what I don't do is get my exercise in like I would like to.  Yes, the last few weeks I have... but there have been special occasions where we're friggin' walking all over hell and creation... but not for exercise.  It's for the fair, the zoo, the market, etc.

I am all for supporting people, I truly am.  But I do and will get tired of it if I keep finding out that we talk about things and motivation only sticks for a day or so.  I get drained from that.  Just drained.  Fortunately right now I'm still in my honeymoon period and hoping that lasts until I get to goal where then I make better choices because I feel soooooooo damn good!

Anyway... sorry for such a negative post today but I hope it helps.  Hope you're not talkin' the talk but not walkin' the walk.  It's all up to you.  You are the only one that can change you and everyone around that needs to know and understand that.  You cannot rely on anyone else making good choices for you... you know why?  You will RESENT them.

MOVING ON... goals this week:
Well this is a month goal... I will get to the gym 8 times this month.  I will work out 3x this week... a real work out... not just this unplanned walking shit.

Challenges this week:  I think I'm going to be alone this weekend.  NEVER good for me... I end up splurging at least one day.  I'm a closet eater :(  UGHHHH, I admitted it.  And after all the ranting I did above.  However, I will keep within my points 5 of the 7 days and only allow myself to go over on points 2 times this week.  By over 2 times this week, means I still need to stay within my "Extra" weekly allowance and I will NOT use my exercise points as extra weekly allowance points.

I will probably have one more post over the weekend... I'm awaiting my assessment of my ActiveLink device (had to restart it on sat because it would have been so very off from all the activity I fit in over the weekend).  SUPER excited to see that.  Should be Sunday when I know more.

Take care all... leave me a comment (I accept anonymous comments) if there's a topic that you'd like me to address next week.  Have a great week and remember... It's all on YOU, NO ONE ELSE BUT YOU.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Not the model Weight Watcher this week!

Well, I must confess I ate terribly this week!  It wasn't because I felt bad from eating so well last week and still gaining 1.8 lbs... it was because of my aforementioned STATE FAIR trip.  And the lovely aftermath of that visit where I wanted more bad food and nothing could fill me up.  NOTHING!!!

Anyway, even though I ate so bad... I lost 2.8 lbs this week.  WHAT???  Ugh, I will never understand this body of mine.  It's definitely not because I just got over my lady time... I just cannot explain this week.  All I can say is... I never gave up.  I counted everything that went into my mouth - regardless of whether I was at 100 points FOR THE DAY!!!  To give you a perspective of how bad that was, for those non Weight Watcher members, I can have 39 points per day (yes that's a lot, I'm fat.  I get more for now).  I can also use 49 extra points a week... and even more if I exercise.

Oh speaking of the shiny object... I definitely met that goal this week!!

So as you can see, 100 points in a given day is Uh-maz-zing-ly bad.That ONE DAY used up all of my daily points, extra points AND some.  I tried to compensate for that for the next few days, but that only made me more hungry.  So I ate over my points on Tuesday and Wednesday too.  Was it all worth it?  HELL NO.  Only Sunday at the fair of course.  Thank god for walking all over hell and creation at the fair.

Anyway I digress...  but this totally brings me to a topic that one of you viewers asked me about.  Here's the request... straight from the Facebook's mouth (private message rather)...

One thing I'd be curious (in terms of topics to write on): given that this is often a "life long" challenge, how do you remain hopeful & not feel defeated? That is one thing I really struggle with...knowing that like an alcoholic, for example, it is something I will ALWAYS have to work at. Also, how do you overcome really bad days? In other words, how do you "get back on the saddle"? 

How do I remain hopeful?
Well I can't say that I always do... but what I can say is that it feels different this time.  Even  more so than when I went all gung-ho in '01 when I decided I had to do something.  I know that this is the last time, I know that I don't have another chance to do this and I WANT IT THAT BAD!  If you don't want it that bad, it's only going to be a temporary fix.

I have a lot of support in my journey... my husband has been fabulous (I think I've mentioned that before).  Sadly I think it's because he is/was disgusted with the way I look (by the way I've only told like one or two people I think he feels this way).  I don't blame him.  I find myself disgusting too.  My mom has been great and I've got a couple of great ladies at work that I lean on.

When I fall off the wagon, what gets me back on?
Well again, this week was tough.  The weight loss this week will help me tremendously... because if I would have gained today - I probably would have stopped at KFC for lunch like I wanted to for weeks now.  So I'm glad I didn't and came home and had a salad that would probably feed a family of 5.  Yeah, I said it... I'm not afraid to admit I'm a bulk eater!

But truthfully - like I said, it's different this time.  I'm so ready for this AND I feel like total and utter shit when I eat bad now.  So that helps.  However, I know that horrible feeling won't last if I keep doing what I did this week.  So - thank you Lord Jesus for giving me a break today!  So what gets me back on right now?  My 4 pairs of silver cropped jeans that I haven't worn for 2+ years because I no longer fit in them.  Do you know how expensive those friggin jeans are?  UGH, thank god I can wear them again.  Pretty soon they will only have cost me $2 a wear (not sure if you follow... but each time I wear something the cost of it goes down because I divide the price by the # of wears - I learned that from my Aunt).

Is food an addiction?
Hell yes, and anyone that would tell you different has never had a weight problem.  But you could probably bet they have some other addiction to get over.  I am very obsessive-compulsive when it comes to food.  If I stop at McDonalds even one day (when I'm in my OC mode) I cannot stop myself from stopping.  For example, in the winter I don't come home before I hit the gym for water aerobics (I'm back on that saddle again too - due to my need to meet my goals).  There is a stupid McDonalds on the way through the back roads and their friggin dollar menu gets me every time with that lovely McChicken sandwich.  So, I finally had to stop it and the only way to stop it was to take a different route.  I now come home before I hit the gym.  We'll see what this winter brings though... I'm guessing with the mode I am in - I can say no.  Or at a minimum count the points for that evil sandwich that gives me such bad heartburn anyway!

So is this a life-long challenge as you (my FB anonymous friend)... you bet your sweet ass it is.  We both know that though... anyone with a weight problem knows that and if they don't - they haven't been dieting long enough.

All of my challenges this past week came true and of course I could have done better handing them, but man I had fun at the fair.  That red-velvet funnel cake was da-bomb-diggity.  I hate red velvet anything, well I used to.  Good thing I only had a few pieces.  I did exercise some control at the fair and do believe that if I hadn't started eating healthy again I totally would have eaten a hell of a lot more.  My stomach would have been able to!

So what are my challenges this week?

• Como Park tomorrow with my mom and niece -- but I think I got this one in the bag.
• Mom coming to stay for most of the weekend - we will definitely make decent choices, but not all choices will be great I'm sure.

That's it I think... not to shabby for the week I'd say.

What are my goals???

Well let me tell you about a little toy Weight Watchers has now... (there's a catch - $5 monthly fee and you have to be an e-tools member) it's call ActiveLink.  It will track all of my movement/activity and show me how much activity (=activity points) I've had for the day.  There's an 8 day assessment and then it will set a 12 week goal for me to meet.  I couldn't be more excited.  It is like a body bug or whatever those things are... but WAY cheaper.  It only cost $39.95 and $5/month.

So my goal is still to get 3 days of exercise in and I'll get one in tonight with water aerobics.  The other two days will be more tough because I'm single for a weekend and will be playing with my mommy.

What I want to leave you with today is - always remember what it is you really want.  It's not really to be skinnier (although that is probably part of it).  It's probably to not feel winded when you walk  up your stairs in the house, to be able to just get up off the couch without having to hoist yourself up or rock your way out, it's to feel healthy, to be healthy and most important to feel good about yourself.

If you're reading this, please subscribe to my blog so I know that there's someone out there and that I'm not just talking to myself.  Leave a comment and let me know what topics you want me to write about... trust me when it comes to weight loss and methods of trying... I've done so many!!  We can help each other!!!

Lastly... always always always believe in yourself.  You can do anything that you really want to!!!

I can't wait until I'm healthfully ever after!