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Thursday, September 27, 2012

... and after all that drama

Well admitting you have a problem is the first step right?  I cried out for help this week... I told all of you (all 3 of you LOL) that I cheated on Saturday and Monday... and boy did I!  I even admitted what I did to my WW group this week.  Well, I only told them about the ice cream (24 pts in ice cream... damn you Nelson in Stillwater, why do you carry Licorice Chip Ice Cream???).  I had a photo session this weekend in Stillwater and wanted to get down there with plenty of time to spare... I mean it's ok for them to be late (which they weren't) but mo def not good for the photographer to be late.  So I meandered through Stillwater and my car (the devil on my shoulder was thinking it the whole time) just drove to Nelsons... I feet walked me in that front door and walked me out the door with 2 cups of licorice chip ice cream.  How dare they!  My ActiveLink didn't even recognize that walk into the store!

Anyway - I needed to give you a laugh right?

I did have a bad week this week.  I set my goal to meet my ActiveLink goal all 7 days.  I met it 3.  UGH... so close 3 of the 4 days I didn't make it.  I used my extra - extra points.  I did go to my water aerobics classes... but obviously not enough.  I think my saving grace was my two photo shoots... they kept me moving and my hands busy editing so no extra food was able to enter this temple of a body I have.

I say that I had a bad week but at the same time I had a fabulous week.  A dude at work actually told me I was wasting away to nothing (OMG I still have 100 lbs to lose).  I laughed and said that would NEVER be a description for me... and I thanked him for noticing and said I am working very hard at it.  He said "well is sure shows!"  How nice was that?

Well I tell you that to tell you this.  Last go round at WW, I had lost 93 lbs.  I know I told you that before, but the reason why I bring it up is that for those of you who have already lost a significant amount of weight - you need to know / hear this.  Once I lost about 75, I had people telling me not to lose any more weight.  That I was starting to look sick to them.  That I looked great, but don't do much more.  Well I fought it and fought it and did get myself down to my goal weight.  For maybe 1 week.  Then I gained 5 lbs... and hung onto that for probably a year.  So I never go lifetime and all the while thinking, oh that's fine.  I did it, I love where I'm at and I HOPE I never go back to where I was.  WRONG answer!!!  Hope is not the answer... the answer is I will NEVER go back to where I was... and this is where I'm at today.

You must not let those people who tell you to stop get to you.  Yes you look great, yes you're super healthy - healthier than you ever have been.  BUT you have a goal... now I'm not saying that you need to lose weight until you have lost too much - and too much meaning below the recommended standards.  I was at the tip of the standards.  The WW top goal weight for my height.  I was NOT sickly looking... shit I looked great and I will get to that state again!  I guarantee it.

Wish me luck because I'm on a friggin' role... after all that drama, I have met my 50 lbs weight loss this week... which was my goal as I walked out of WW last week.  I wanted to lose that 2.6 lbs this week.  Even though I thought it was unrealistic... obviously my body was ready to shed that weight.  I hope that you stay motivated enough to keep yourself on track for your goal... whatever that may be.

I will definitely get a picture of me posted... I know I didn't do it for my 45 lbs like I said I would.  If I can figure out my scanner I will post that picture of me that I swear I will get back to.

My goals for this week:

  1. Post a picture of my progress
  2. Meet my ActiveLink goal 5 days (let's be honest, 7 is tough for me right now)
  3. Stay on track... after a big weight loss, my goal is just to stay the same next week.  (I think the big bad wolf will be here to try and counter act my weight loss this week)

Take care and have a great week... please leave me comments, suggestions, thoughts for the week.  I need them, I need to stay on my honeymoon!!!

I can't wait until I'm healthfully ever after!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Rough Week Huh...

Uh oh... I'm having a bad week.  I cannot get full, I cheated many times (Sat/Mon) and am over my points, my extra points and my activity points!  What can I do to get back on track?

Well I have to tell you that it's not easy... LOL like you didn't know that.  What's worse is that the foods I'm over eating on are NOT worth it at all.  Pretzels?  Why in the world did I even buy them?  Rosemary Almonds from Trader Joe's - WTF!!!  (don't try those, they are fabulous... but you can see that they have some type of coating on them to get the rosemary to stick to them... oh and the salty goodness).

I normally don't have cravings for foods like that.  Normally I crave a juicy burger, ice cream (ughh... had that too.  Went to Nelsons in Stillwater and got a kids version (if you know that place, you know a small is basically two cups worth of premium ice cream) and ATE IT ALL.  After that went and got a latte - OMG what am I doing to myself - because I had time to waste.

Anyway - I blew that day away...

Then I was good on Sunday... then Monday came.  I brought the almonds and pretzels to work with me.  BAD MISTAKE!!!  I ate the rest of the bag of pretzels (probably 6 1/2 oz of pretzels) AND probably 2 1/2 servings of those damn almonds.  By the time I was done with that, I was out of points for the day.  Really out!  Over. UGH!!!  And I hadn't eaten dinner... I had two string cheese and about 8 oz chicken.

Sooooo... today comes. I'm home, working.  I'm hungry.  I'm determined to get back on track.   We have no food in the house.  I can't leave, waiting for Fedex to get here with my phone.  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!!!

Well, I do have one lean cuisine dinner upstairs.  I guess that's lunch.  But dinner... oh dinner.  I have a photo shoot tonight, so I'm going to have to either eat after that (which would be 7:30 - 8) or pick something up on my way.  I think it's a Subway night tonight (I hate Subway)... but I'm determined to get through this.

I know what it is... and if you're a girl, you do too!!!  I hate this time of the month... it's the storm before the storm!  There's no calm before the storm in these instances.

Well if you're struggling too - please let me know.  I need to know what you're doing to get through it.  I need help!!!

Take care and wish me luck.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Desk Job... UGH

Well I always start out telling you how I did for the week, I did fine.  I lost .4 lbs this week.  Did I meet my goal from last week?   Do you remember what it was?  It was to meet my ActiveLink goal each day.  I did not meet my goal, but shit... I came so close.  There were two days of the 7 that I didn't meet or exceed my goal... and if I average it all out - I did meet it.  So I'm not down on myself at all, but I do need to step it up - no excuses.  If I want it, I need to earn it!

Anyway onto my topic of DESK JOB.  Do you know how hard it is to move enough during the day when you have a desk job?  How it affects your life and how much harder you need to work after work to get enough exercise in for the day?  OMG I sure do.  Over the last week, I've watched my numbers through ActiveLink and honestly... I do not move much when I'm at work.  So this week, I tried getting up more to get water... and drinking it faster than normal.  Which made me get up more to go pee.  So I did move much more this week, but it's tough to do when you've got a crap ton of things going on and meetings to attend.  So next week I need to figure something else out.  Maybe I don't take that hour lunch - maybe I take a half hour and walk outside for a half hour.  I know many people at work would do that with me if I asked.  So that's what I'm going to do... first probably do it myself then ask others to join.  I'm easily influenced to not do things, so what I'm going to do is walk first - then eat.  Eating will be my own little reward.

I have to elaborate more on my topic too... because I'm watching my husband struggle now with having a desk job.  All his adult life he's had physical jobs.  In the last 4 months, his company has brought him in the office to start bidding on jobs instead of in the field working the jobs.  I've seen him put on quite a bit of weight in the last few months and just recently have heard him say how fat he's getting and I can see it's affecting him. When we met, he probably weighed 30lbs less than he does now... or actually not sure how much he weighs now it could be an even larger number.  He gained weight with me, but definitely not at the rate or amount than I did and I've felt super guilty about the amount I've gained... so I cannot fault him for gaining at all.  Since I gained probably 120 since he's met me... that's a whole fricken person!!!

Anyway, I don't want to say I'm happy about it at all, but in a way I am because I don't think he ever understood how it was to have an office job.  You see a physical job wears you out physically... (duh) but these friggin desk jobs wear you out mentally.  I think that's almost worse... then when you're tired from that you want nothing else to do in the evening but wind down and relax. So, I'm just glad he can now see it from my point of view... although I don't think we'll ever see it the same since he's never really had a "weight" problem like I have.  I do think he's on the verge of doing something about his weight gain... so hopefully we can work on it together some more.  He's been great for me through my weight loss so far and I'll definitely be there for him because it will only help the both of us!

I feel like I just totally rambled on... I hope all of that made sense and doesn't seem so jumbled.  I do feel a bit jumbled these days - so please forgive me.

So, what are my goals this week????

I am not giving up on making that exercise 7 days a week goal, there's NO reason why I can't when I can go for a 40 minute walk and make my goal every day. I did OK with food this week, so I don't think I need to make a food goal... especially with having an exercise goal again.

Please let me know if there's a special topic that you'd like me to address... if you're a FB friend of mine and are not comfortable leaving a comment here... message me privately on FB.

Take care and good luck this week!

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Baby Steps... Mini-goals work!!!

So last week I set a goal to lose 1.2 lbs this week because I wanted to his my 45 lb mark.  Well guess what... I'm sure you can guess judging by what my post title is... I did it.  Not only did I do it, I blew passed it.  I lost 3.2 lbs this week.

What did I do differently you may ask.  Nothing.  Not a darn thing... except maybe moving a little more.  I was in the assessment period through Sunday so I didn't want to increase my activity to something that wasn't "normal" for me just yet.  However, I was out scouting places to take some good family and senior portraits that I have coming up so I got some good walking in.  I also went to my water aerobics class on Thursday night but that's now my new normal so I was OK with that being included (sadly disappointed that it didn't register as much... hoping tonight will be better).  So honestly... walking is what did it for me this week.

Last night I told my husband I was going to go for a walk and asked if he wanted to come along (I now have my goal to make (thanks ActiveLink) and was so close that I just wanted to make it for a day) and he said YES.  I know I shouldn't be so excited, it's not like we have any moving conversations while we walk... we hardly even talk really, it's just nice to have someone to walk with that walks faster than I do.  I have to keep up with him, so it pushes me more.  We walked 2 miles at a 22 minute mile clip.  So nothing earth shattering but seriously if you saw me you would have thought I had ran a marathon.  Right now, that's fast for me... anyway I was at 83% of my daily ActiveLink goal and zero activity points earned for the day when we left for our walk.  When I got back I was at 146% and had earned 5 activity points... all in 44 minutes!  It felt great and I was so happy to have reached a goal.

When I woke up this morning I knew that it helped and that I did well this week.  I felt lighter and that makes me a happy girl!

So did I meet my goals I set from last week???
Well... mostly.  I did end up going into extra-extra points (bad Tabitha!!!), but I also did get my exercising in (Good Girl)... oh and I got a mini-balance ball work out in yesterday (could only handle 10 minutes).  Although you may not agree that I accomplished my goal, I do.  Trust me, that helps... because if you (and this is your inner person speaking to you) see it as a failure, then you may let it drag you down.  One of the quotes I heard in the meeting room today was "You cannot change yesterday, but you can change today!"  Ummm, yeah.  I always say, don't let the man bring you down!  Oh and... Donna Martin graduates!!!  (only those that watched the OLD 90210 will think that's funny - hopefully)

Anyway what will I be challenging myself with this week? Exercise, Exercise, Exercise!  Not just 3x this week.  I want to meet my ActiveLink goal EVERY DAY.  EEK... I hate saying that out loud, but it's true.  So wish me luck, I need it!!!  I think that's the only challenge I need for the week... baby steps right?!

I do not have a "weight loss" goal for the week only because losing 3.2 lbs in one week at this stage of the game may result in a smaller weight loss next week. (If you've done this as long and as many times as I have, then you know this)  It would be great to lose another 3 and hit my 50lbs, but not realistic, so I'm not touching that one... but stay tuned for a picture of me - since I met my 45lbs... I promised I'd post a picture.  I want to have my husband take one of me with the "good camera" so it'll be later this week when you see it. YAY GO ME!!!

Good luck to you this week and remember it's all about baby steps and mini goals... If you're like me and have such a LONG journey ahead, then thinking about the end just makes you too overwhelmed and may discourage you... so think small and make smaller more attainable goals.  This will benefit you more than you think it would!

Please follow my blog (so I know there are people out there)... and leave me a comment on what you'd like me to talk about.  Trust me, I've been through it ALL... and I like to "talk."

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!!!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Total and Utter Disappointment

Well this is three fold for me...

1) My ActiveLink didn't give me ANY points for water aerobics.  WHAT?  That shit is tough, as long as you make it that way.  Could be that it was because I didn't move pretty much the whole day except for that... but I wanted to see what Weight Watchers counted it as since I've counted it for 3-4 points before.  EEK.

2) I did get exercise in this weekend, but not what I said I was going to do... I wanted to make myself do the balance ball and didn't.

3) I overate more than just the 2 days that I said I would AND am into my extra extra points (beyond the extra they give you) so my exercise points will have to go towards that stuff :(

ActiveLink Results:
Saturday I earned 4 activity PointsPlus values and Sunday I earned 2.

BUT what is exciting is that I did get a goal set for my ActiveLink - they want me to get 3 extra activity points per day.  Yikes... that's actually a lot of activity for someone as lazy as I am.  I guess i need to step it up a whole hell of a lot!

Lets see if I can work off the remaining 19 points that I'm over this week... eeek!!!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Walking Is Good

I'd love to tell you that I did exceptionally well this week, but that's just not the case.  I did in fact lose 0.6 lbs, bringing my total to 43.8, so I am definitely proud of that.  Today marked my 25th week of being on Weight Watchers and I'm averaging 1.2 lbs of weight loss each week.  That's definitely in the healthy range of weight loss, but if you're like me... you would want more!!!

Well, to be honest... in order to get more, you've got to give more.  For the last two weeks, I have lost.  I've actually lost 3.4 lbs which is great...  BUT not deserved.  I have not been as "on track" as I have been for the majority of my 25 weeks.  I will take these losses, but challenge them back.

I want to hit my 45 lb weight loss mark next week so that I can post another picture of myself for you.  Trying to do it every 5lb's so that you can see the progress.  So that's my goal.

Now to get onto the good stuff... the REAL stuff.  I've had many many conversations with people already through this journey and I have to tell you.  You have to want it, you have to want it bad.  You can't rely on anyone else but yourself.  It's great having the support, and I do have that, but honestly if I'm not losing weight or not eating as good as I "want" to... I cannot blame anyone but myself.

I have a friend that I talk with on a regular basis.  We use each other to "discuss" what we've done, what we need to do and how we can do it better.  She relies heavily on her husband to help her... or did.  She would tell me how upset she would get because he's not helping her cut up the veggies when they get home from the grocery store, he's not helping with making and planning the meals, he's not this - he's not that!  I was getting a little frustrated with her but didn't know how to express that without coming across like a total bitch (sorry if you're reading this friend, but unfortunately it's true).  I mean seriously, it's not up to him to lose your weight.

This is exactly what I mean by you need to want it.  Others can want it just as bad for you (MOM I'm talking to you) but you need to make that decision, you need to want it, it's all YOU.  Not anyone else but YOU!

So, instead of pointing fingers and saying something rude that I wouldn't mean... and I definitely didn't want it to come across like that, I explained how I'm doing it.  My husband is super supportive.  He doesn't complain about what I'm eating, making, etc.  BUT he's not helping me DO anything.  He hasn't been to the grocery store for real grocery shopping in YEARS.  I do all of that.  If I don't cut up the veggies, he doesn't eat them.  If I don't plan the meals, we eat crap.  So really, I'm doing it all myself.  I'm not relying on him for that at all.  BUT what he is doing is not complaining.  So by explaining that to her, I think I broke through... but then the weekends hit.

I'm not a drinker by any means.  I used to be, don't get me wrong... I put on that freshman 50 (I know it's supposed to be 15, but in my case it was 50).  I definitely choose food over alcohol... but sounds like that's more difficult for her.  But she did say, the last time she lost a lot of weight she was NOT drinking as much.  She also makes bad choices... more often than not (from what I gather).  However, that all seems to be changing for her too.  So that's awesome and I will be there for support as long as she needs it.

However, I do get disappointed when I hear some of the stories and excuses.  I totally own up to what I put in my mouth, I write everything down (by write, I mean track on my phone and computers), I follow plan more than not.  BUT what I don't do is get my exercise in like I would like to.  Yes, the last few weeks I have... but there have been special occasions where we're friggin' walking all over hell and creation... but not for exercise.  It's for the fair, the zoo, the market, etc.

I am all for supporting people, I truly am.  But I do and will get tired of it if I keep finding out that we talk about things and motivation only sticks for a day or so.  I get drained from that.  Just drained.  Fortunately right now I'm still in my honeymoon period and hoping that lasts until I get to goal where then I make better choices because I feel soooooooo damn good!

Anyway... sorry for such a negative post today but I hope it helps.  Hope you're not talkin' the talk but not walkin' the walk.  It's all up to you.  You are the only one that can change you and everyone around that needs to know and understand that.  You cannot rely on anyone else making good choices for you... you know why?  You will RESENT them.

MOVING ON... goals this week:
Well this is a month goal... I will get to the gym 8 times this month.  I will work out 3x this week... a real work out... not just this unplanned walking shit.

Challenges this week:  I think I'm going to be alone this weekend.  NEVER good for me... I end up splurging at least one day.  I'm a closet eater :(  UGHHHH, I admitted it.  And after all the ranting I did above.  However, I will keep within my points 5 of the 7 days and only allow myself to go over on points 2 times this week.  By over 2 times this week, means I still need to stay within my "Extra" weekly allowance and I will NOT use my exercise points as extra weekly allowance points.

I will probably have one more post over the weekend... I'm awaiting my assessment of my ActiveLink device (had to restart it on sat because it would have been so very off from all the activity I fit in over the weekend).  SUPER excited to see that.  Should be Sunday when I know more.

Take care all... leave me a comment (I accept anonymous comments) if there's a topic that you'd like me to address next week.  Have a great week and remember... It's all on YOU, NO ONE ELSE BUT YOU.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!