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Thursday, October 31, 2013

Devil on your shoulder?

So last week when I had blogged I had vowed to do well while at scrapbooking.  Well that went to shit... FAST.  Pretty much immediately after I walked through the door when we got back from a great Weight Watcher meeting.  I thought for sure I'd do better because there was three of us "watching" what we were eating.  I was the only one of the three watching everything jump into my mouth immediately.

I am completely disgusted with myself and that damn devil on my shoulder.  Each time I would reach into the bag of peanut butter M&Ms (I curse the person who thought of this) I would tell myself to stop... and then I didn't (damn devil).  Then the salted caramel chocolate crack (crack is what it was to me - holy crap don't make it), then the lemon poke cake, then the apple crisp, then the two oreo desserts.  Granted these weren't all one one day but some of them were two / day.  Seriously that was horrible.

Then the food, pretty much all meals were unhealthy except for maybe 2.  And those weren't THAT healthy either... and the portion sizes.  I did better when I could dish my own, even though I went for seconds most of the time (read as "every time").  Some served up our meals for us too --- NOT GOOD for me.  I need to have visual control of what I put on my plate.  That WON'T happen again.   We scrap three times a year and I will guarantee that going forward I will be the only one putting food on my plate AND I will make better choices.

So with that said, there were actually SOME good things that I did.  I made sure to exercise every day while we were there (except 1 and I felt WORSE that day... that won't happen again).  I actually had 3 others join me in doing Zumba.  It was awesome and all 4 of us were happy we did it.  I also had someone go for a walk with me - and she walks as fast as I run... holy crap.  I was happy when she got a little tired, I could keep up better.  I am very very proud that 1) I brought the video to do 2) I did the video 3) people joined me in doing the video and 4) I never felt self-conscious doing it with them.  That's a huge step for me.

When I got home on Sunday I was miserable.  My mind was beating me up and I felt sick.  I was LITERALLY sick and I believe it was because of the CRAP food (which was soooooo good) that I ate.  I actually had to stay home from work on Monday because I felt so terrible.  It wasn't until a nice bathroom visit that I started feeling better (gross, I know.  but oh so true).  I still ate A LOT and crappy on Monday... but I vowed on Tuesday that I was not going to keep that up.

Tuesday:  I went to Sam's club on my lunch hour to get almonds and fruit so that I had some good stuff in the house (whew).  On my way to Zumba I stopped at Subway (NOT my favorite) and got a healthy dinner.   After Zumba I went to the grocery store to make sure that I had a healthy dinner to make for Wednesday night because we had to eat quick and run.  So I made mexican chicken in the crack pot and put that over brown rice.  It was good (to me) but my husband isn't in love with it (too bad sucka)!

While I'm not proud of what I did scrapbooking, I am very proud of how I've reset myself and started planning again. It definitely helped because on Monday/Tuesday I was up 6-8 lbs.  By the time I weighed in today I was only up .6 lbs.  WOWSERS!!!

I'm not going to take that for granted, I'm going to continue with my healthy eating and meal planning this week. I have to - dammit I want to get to 100 lb weight loss (and beyond of course).  I can't do that by making bad choices!  Think about what you can do between NOW and Thanksgiving to lose just 5 lbs.  I know I'm going to really plan this out because I'm going on a trip for Thanksgiving (first time ever being away from all my family - except my step son because he's who we are visiting) and I really want to prove to myself that I can get there and stay there (maintain) over our trip.

Good luck to you and remember - I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Restless Sleeper?

This week I'm going to talk about what I've struggled with for almost a year.

I do not sleep well.  It typically happens in August - September of every year, but this year has been very different.  I've struggled for a lot longer.  I can't really say when, but I know in February when I bought my Fitbit One that I was struggling then because that was one of the reasons I bought it.  It semi-tracks sleep patterns.  It just proved to me how much I'm up in the night.  I average about 20 times a night where I'm restless - to me that's a lot.  I also get up between 1-3 times a night to pee.  That's very frustrating in and of itself but I didn't know what to do.

So over the last year I've tried benadryl, nyquil, zzz quil, tylenol PM and melatonin.  After each one of these wears off I wake up at night and I'm up for while.  Some of these also made me very sleepy in the morning to the point where I didn't want to get up (I'm not a morning person anyway and don't need that extra reason for not wanting to get up).  Melatonin was the best for me but still made me sleepy in the AM and I took 15 mg versus the 5 mg recommended.  So I thought that was a bad idea.

Two weeks ago I paid my doctor a visit and explained my sleep issues and after much discussion she gave me some Trazodone to try (p.s., I had already tried it but didn't want to tell her that because it's a prescribed drug).  Trazodone doesn't work for me, my doctor told me that it only works for 2/3's of the people it's prescribed for.  What it did to me was make me lay there for longer (not falling asleep), I didn't stay asleep - but the good news was that I wasn't as sleepy in the morning (not sure why because I didn't get more sleep - I just didn't get less than I had been either).  I tried it for a week and gave up.

Last week I had to travel for work, while at our other office I called my doctor asking her to think of something else because Trazodone wasn't working.  After two calls back and forth I found out that she was prescribing Ambien for me (I know this works as I tried this before too).  I was ecstatic.  While I was driving from our other office to my house, the doctor's office called and said they faxed in the order.  Keep in mind I did NOT sleep on the road at all - so for 2 nights I haven't slept more than a total of probably 4 hours.  I thanked the nurse and drove straight to the pharmacy.  When I got there Target didn't have the faxed order and since it's a controlled substance they couldn't do anything for me until they had what they needed.  I broke down and CRIED.  In Target... an adult crying.  I was at my wits end...

There were some other things going on in my life as well... that same day I was told that my boss is moving onto another position in the company and I now had a new boss.  I love my current boss, she's super supportive of my weight loss and my going to my weight watcher meetings.  I'm not so sure my new boss is and the new project I have from now until March involves a weekly meeting during the same time I'm supposed to be going to my weight watcher meeting.... so I'm sure that news factored in to my mini-melt down (I'm 40 not a 2 year old, but seriously how much can one person take).

Then, the next day I was taking my poor dog into the vet (who was a super high risk) to have her teeth cleaned and several teeth pulled.  So needless to say I spent the entire day crying on Thursday.  I couldn't focus on anything but the fact that I still hadn't slept, my Thursday meeting may be put on hold (it still could - we will see) and my dog may not wake up from her teeth cleaning.

She did wake up (thank God) and my ambien was at the pharmacy Thursday.  I've slept every night (mostly) for the last week.  Ambien is a bit weird as makes me act a little goofy and I'm still working through that.  The good news though is that I am sleeping and a little more level headed this week.

I know that I will get through this, I have to.  I may have to figure something out for the next few months (the worst months to have a change like this happen) but time will tell on that.  I am happy to report that though all of that this week I've lost 3.2 lbs of the 4.2 I have gained over the last two weeks.  I made it through our October Cook Off and continued to Zumba my ass off.  I'm pretty proud of myself right now... and I'm loving Ambien :)

I'm sitting at my scrapbook retreat right now - we got here yesterday and will be here through Sunday.  Here's to making more good choices versus bad over the next week (you should see all the fabulous snacks and desserts) - my goal is to stay the same this week.  Good luck to you this week!!!

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, October 17, 2013

I'm An Addict!!!

Once again I had a food challenged week.  Although I worked out a lot, I still ate some pretty bad things.  This was birthday celebration weekend (4 days) with my mommy where she spoils me.  I was good 1 of the 4 days.  The other 3 days were challenging too - but only because I made them that way.

I also must admit that I didn't really track well this week.  I think I only tracked 1 or 2 full days, the rest was not really a "fuck-it" attitude but just became a nuisance (which never has happened before - don't worry though, that won't happen again).  What happens when you don't track?  Well apparently for me it means a 2.6 lb gain.  I'm not going to sweat it, because I know WHY I gained... I have some challenging weeks yet to come so I'm going to try and focus more on PLANNING (even if I'm planning to be "bad" - I need to choose the day or 2 that I will allow myself some slack) -- thanks Polly (my WW leader).

Enough of that... I'm not really going to focus on the food or the weight part so much right now because I'm in a very happy place right now (with regards to working out).  I'm working out more than ever and I'm able to do it all... with HIGH impact.  I'm working just as hard as the instructor!  That's insane.

I'm all about Zumba right now.  I've put all the challenges to the way side because I can burn between 550 - 650 calories doing Zumba for 1 hour.  I'm mostly doing it at the gym but when I can't I do it at home.  One of my good friends gave me her DVD set because she can't do it right now.  So I get to use it until she wants it back.

I'm a bit addicted.  I am even DREAMING about Zumba.  I can't drive in my car and listen to music without wanting to Zumba to the music.  In fact, I drove up to Fargo ND (from Monticello MN) - 3 hour tour - by myself... and I zumba'd in my car to many a songs AND... Not only did I Zumba in my car, I ended up searching and putting in the zip code to find classes for that night.  (I was there for 1 NIGHT).  I found a gym and called them, they told me that I could pay $12 to attend the class (or there was a free visit on the web).  So that's what I did Tuesday night (after shopping, it was freaking cold in Fargo so I needed long work out pants versus the cropped pants I had with me).

I am so proud of myself... not for what I ate for dinner that night (UGH) but what I ended up doing to try and work it off.  I walk/ran for 23 minutes before the class and then Zumba'd for 1 hour.  Oh the calorie burn.  The instructor was awesome, so it made it all the better!

I plan to continue the work out over the next week - and I need to eat better again!  We have a cook-off (appetizers) on Saturday so I'm going to have to be super good through all of that.  Only 1 bad day this week (Saturday) and the rest will have to be good.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Fit By 40

Sooooo, Sunday was my birthday.  I've been celebrating since last Thursday (yikes).  Needless to say, I didn't do great this week according to the scale (gained 1.6 lbs).  But I'm going to choose to NOT focus on that and focus on how I made my goal of Fit By 40!

I used to define this as being at my goal weight... but I had to redefine that goal because I am not even close.  I'm 2/3 of the way there... this summer really messed me up.  BUT again, it's not about the weight right now.  I'll tell you what Fit By 40 means to me now...

  1. I can walk up the stairs in my house and not be out of breath
  2. I can go for a walk with my husband and I'm not winded the entire time (and not embarrased)
  3. I can run a 5k (I've done 2 this year)
  4. I can run a 5k obstacle course (I've done 2 this year)
  5. I know what eating healthy means, I do it over 90% of the time
  6. I can zumba for 3 hours (that was my first introduction to zumba) with NO BREAKS
  7. I can run 1 mile in 11 minutes and 10 seconds (my best time so far)
  8. I no longer have heart burn on a daily basis (and not taking two different daily meds)
  9. My blood pressure medicine was cut by 75%
  10. I can do 250 squats, 40 push ups and 100 leg lifts in less than a 1/2 hour
I could go on and on really... but I'd say I'm Fit by 40! When I hit my goal weight, I'll then be focusing on what this whole blog is...

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Post 2nd 5k Race

I had an absolutely fabulous week.  I've not felt this in control in a long time.  THIS is a good feeling!!!  I've been able to plan for almost all of my meals, I've kicked up my exercise again and I had a great time in my race from the weekend.

There was a benefit in my town called Party for a Purpose where they raise money for families, with cancer, that are in need.  I wouldn't have even known about it if I didn't hold a challenge on my Facebook Page Healthfully Ever After several months ago.  I had ordered Healthfully Ever After tank tops for the winners of the challenge and for a few others that said they wanted one.  In doing so, I met this man - Jason.  He runs a local company that does printing.  His wife had cancer and were overwhelmed with how the community  helped them out.  So they started this charity and other local business joined in with them.  Anyway he told me about the 5k and gave me a flyer.  It took me several weeks to sign up because I wasn't sure how my running would go... but I decided what the heck.  It's for charity and if I can't run it, I'll walk it.  But I'm gonna run it :)... that's how my brain works!

Anyway I didn't start training for it until August.  Training didn't go well, the weather did not cooperate with me as I do not do well in the heat.  Seriously, if I get overheated - I get sick.  Even sitting in the sun sometimes is hard, but you wouldn't believe that because of my beautiful bronze tan I get in the summer... So three weeks before the run I decide I better get myself going.  So I tried to run - 42 minutes for a 5k.  That was about as bad as I was when I first ran the 5k by myself (not during a race).  I was super disappointed and thought shoot, I better keep running during the week.  I didn't.  So the next week, I tried running it again - 40 minutes.  Better, made me a little more motivated... but not motivated enough to keep running during the week.  The next week, I didn't try running a 5k - just tried running on and off for 20 minutes - ran 9 of them walked 11.  That was last Thursday before the run on Saturday.

The 5k was Saturday - raining.  I mean raining, raining - up until the time we actually started running.  Then it just went to constant sprinkle.  If this would have been a day for me to "train," I wouldn't have done it.  I would have stayed inside and not even gone to the gym to run on a treadmill.  BUT, I had to run.  1) I paid for it 2) I actually attempted it and was successful a few times  and 3) it's for a good cause.  So I ran it.  I did AWESOME (for me).  I beat my last 5k race's time (37:10) by almost a minute.  My time was 36:16:81.  Unbelievable.  So much so, that I didn't think it was possible.  So I ran again on Sunday to see if it was.  I didn't do as well (37:29) but with all the adrenaline being with the other racers... I'm just going to say - yes it was possible and yes I did do it!!!

People, anything is possible.  If you want it to be!  Here's some pictures from the races I've done.

Lupus run in May 2013
Party for a Purpose, September 2013

results from Party for a Purpose

So... to cover all the other exercise I've done for the rest of the week.
1) finishing my plank challenge today (finally, I really hated that challenge with a passion!)
2) Ran - Thursday (9 mins), Saturday and Sunday
3) Zumba (ummm... I love zumba) - Monday and Tuesday
4) Started my new challenge for October (see pic below)

I think that's enough.  So my results for the week... lost 1 lb this week, total is now 96.2.  Totally not unhappy with that at all, even though I feel like I should have lost more this week... I feel so in control that I don't even care!

I can't wait to be Healthfully Ever After!