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Friday, July 18, 2014

I'm not my priority

I am not doing well.  I am not making myself my priority right now.  I'm stressed to the max with way to much going on at home, work and family life.  Therefore, I am way off track and gaining, gaining, gaining.

I have a ton of excuses, but none of them matter.  I cannot continue to gain.  I need to make me a priority, I know this.

Am I going to do it?  Not yet.

My parents finally move this weekend.  I cannot wait.  I've spent the last 2 months, with the exception of 3 weekends sprinkled in there, going down to their house on the weekends to help pack them up.  I do fine when I'm there, because my mom is very supportive.  BUT when I leave, I'm not good.

When I get home and my husband's not home, I'm not good.  I do not do well alone.  I need to get over that part.  I will be working on that once things settle down.

Work is also crazy right now.  In reality, it has been all year.  I am using that as an excuse too... but when I get stressed, I eat.  I've been eating a lot lately.  AND a lot that is NOT good for me.  Giving in to all my cravings.  Obviously I need to work on that too.

I'm just struggling really bad.  I am determined to not let this continue, I just need to get through the next couple of weeks.  Then I will be focusing like a mad woman.  In the mean time, my goal is to stop gaining.  Then... start losing again when I can focus.

I still can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!


Thursday, July 10, 2014

Two Week Update

I didn't intend to not write a post last week, but I totally ran out of time with getting ready for the holiday weekend.  Last week's weigh in was awesome.  I lost a lot of weight, not everything I gained the week before, but well over half of it.

Then comes the holiday weekend.

I did GREAT over the weekend.  From Thursday - Sunday at 11.  Then we got home.  I ate the world.  What the hell!  I don't get it.  I couldn't stop myself.  I guess I know WHY... but I really hate that it affects me.  The WHY would be that I'm a woman and once a month I truly cannot control my hunger and cravings.  As hard as I try, I just can't.

So in the end I ended up gaining this week.  I would say over 1/2 my gain this week is due to my being a woman and the other 1/2 is probably from the last 3 days of eating.  Sad.

BUT, I'm not going to let it get me down.  I'm going to chug along.  I'm proud of my holiday weekend.  I purposefully moved.  My sister in law and I walked 3.2 miles one day and another 2.2 the following day.  BEFORE we would do anything fun for the day.  So I felt good about that.  My back and legs were not liking me too much, but it's a good starter.  I haven't done anything since I got home, but I will this week.  I need to get myself moving.

An update on my accident from April.  I'm still seeing a chiropractor, massage therapist and now added physical therapy this week.  This "minor" accident has really caused me some pain... which is the main reason I haven't exercised in almost 3 months.  I don't like this feeling and it's not good for my weight loss.  So for now, I'm adding in the walking.  Soon, I hope to go back to the gym for my Zumba and weight lifting.

I hope you had a successful two weeks... I walk away feeling pretty good about it - even with the weight gain.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Getting What I've Always Gotten

How does that saying go...


If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.


Yeah, that was my week in a nut shell.  No planning (really), no tracking, no exercise other than at my parents packing them up (which was actually 8 points worth of work).

To sum up my week... I suck.

But, I will do better this week.  That's all I have to give this week unfortunately.  No wise words of wisdom.  I'm saving those for next week while I get myself back on track this week.

Good luck to you all!

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Cuttin' it close!

Well, well, well.  My week.  Well, my week was ok.  My goal was to stay the same.  We were taking a mini vacation.  Unfortunately, I came down with a horrible cold last Monday and it was cold and rainy for our vacation... our vacation was to go fishing in Lake of the Woods - Roosevelt, MN.  It sucked and I was miserable.  The.Entire.Time.

I did not eat well and I drank more than I should have.

BUT

As soon as we got back, I was on good behavior - with lots of self talk.  I kept repeating... what do you really want!

Sadly, I have to do this a lot.  Like a lot, a lot.

Regardless, I'm back on track and working on getting off that vacation weight.  I cut it real close, I gained 1 lbs.  To me that's cutting it close, but I am not going to beat myself up about it.

What I need to beat myself up about is I need to get my arse moving.  I've not worked out much.  Between all my aches and pains, getting a cold, being incredibly (overwhelmingly) busy at work and helping with my parents move - I just haven't made time for it.  I know that I could make time and really need to focus on that this coming week.  THAT my friends is a goal I will meet this week.

I will purposefully work out (whatever that means) 3 times this coming week.  I will also stay on track, but allow myself a few treats here and there, but my ultimate goal is to stay within my points + my weekly.  That will be a tough goal to meet, but I've done it before.  I can do it again!

Are you with me?

Riiiiight!

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Overly Stressed

Unfortunately and fortunately I'm very very busy right now.  So my post will be short and sweet.

Work is overwhelming right now, but I'm handling the stress well and not turning to eating.  Which is very rare for me.  BUT I'm also friggin sick again.  I came down with a very bad cold this week.  Like really bad, bad enough to miss a day of work.  Should have missed more than that, but I'm too busy to miss work and felt horrible for calling in sick on Monday.

So with that, I'm also trying to get ready for a 4 day weekend up north.  The kind where you have to pack for cold, warm and rainy weather as you don't know what it's going to be.  The kind where you have to bring all your meals, most of what you need for cooking utensils, etc.  The kind that once you get there it's heaven but it's hell to get ready for.

I did well over the weekend, I let my mom help me eat healthy.  We had only a few moments of weakness but nothing to throw me off for the entire weekend.  I counted points every day but Monday.  I was too sick to care what I was putting in my mouth Monday - and I did horrible.  I went to the store and got ever treat that I have wanted and ate them all.

I counted the points for the fish fry and chose to skip dinner that night because of it.  I actually ended up eating peanut butter instead... which I probably could have made a salad and sandwich for all the peanut butter I ate.  But whatever, I was starting to feel sick and I didn't care.

Overall I did well.  I didn't get in exercise, but I did get points for activity because I was constantly moving this weekend... so Friday, Saturday and Sunday were very active days.  So I'm counting that.  The good news for the week is that my back is starting to feel better and I'm so thrilled about that.  I was really scared last week when I was in so much pain.

I ended the week with losing 2.4 lbs.  Which is good.  I'm trending downward.  I'm a little nervous for this mini-vacation because not many people do well on vacation.  I have gathered and packed some healthy things but I know some of the meals will not be so healthy.  I am bringing fresh fruit, salad, nuts and some cheese sticks to ensure I get my veggies and fruit in and have some healthier choices.

Other than having a cold, I'm feeling great.  Much better feeling when you eat healthy.  ALWAYS need to remember that, but it's very hard sometimes when those good foods TASTE good, but don't make you feel good.

Good luck to you this week.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

I'm Proud

It's not too often that I'm proud of myself when I wasn't perfect.  BUT in last week's post I vowed to be better.  I was much better!

I did go negative into points (almost two days negative), but I've been a lot worse.  My activity this week was 1) helping my parents pack up their house and 2) cleaning my house.  Nothing that's a big deal, but I earned 10 activity points over the week (way lower than I'm used to but I'm pretty sure the week before was like 3... so I was better).

With regards to my food, there were 3 days where I was significantly over and 2 days that weren't bad and 2 days that I was a rock star.  I feel good about that!

If you've been following my blog, I'm sure you know I've been struggling for probably 6 or more months now.  I weigh more now than I did last year at this time... by like 15 lbs or so.  I'm not happy about that.  I'm struggling to find clothes to fit me that I had last year. That's very depressing... and I know it's not what I want.

It's very hard for all of us to stay on track, I'm no different in that respect.  I know that I can't keep down this path.  I know what I want, but I'm not making myself do what I need to do to get what I want.  I've been very weak and very strong at times.  I will repeat what I've always said "you've got to want it bad enough."  Apparently I got comfortable and didn't "want it bad enough" for a while.  I am constantly thinking about my choices - when I make good and bad choices.  Sometimes as I'm saying no, I'm putting it in my mouth.  I've been trying some other natural remedies lately to see if I can curb my appetite and cravings... because I can tell I've stretched my tummy back out.  I need to get it in check, I know that.  I know I can.  I just need to be strong.

My biggest challenge this week is a fish fry on Sunday.  I'm not going to pass it up, meaning I'm gonna eat that fish... and the rest of the stuff.  BUT I will provide some good choices and try to fill up on that stuff before the fish is ready.  If I can be good EVERY OTHER DAY this week, I'll be fine.  So I need to keep that in check!

Wish me luck :)

I did lose this week, a lot.  Everything I had  gained last week.  I've been off the steroids for over a week and I think that helped (I'm way less angry... but also am done with my monthly too - I hate that angry feeling LOL).  I'm still up 15 lbs though from last year :(.

Next week, I vow to be better than this week!  Maybe those are the baby steps I need right now... vacation is coming up after next week's weigh in.  I'm a little nervous for that - but I'll have to make myself a priority and pack healthy snacks that I like... and want.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Holiday... Celebrate

So of course I went off track during a holiday weekend.  I was away from home and around amazing food, good drinks and fun company.  I knew I'd be off.  I drank more than I normally do.  I actually am not a big drinker (anymore, college did me in).  I don't think my food was all that bad, but sure it could have been better.

I am also "very" sick.  I've been dealing with a tooth issue for over two weeks now.  I deem myself very sick because i had a severe infection in my tooth.  I visited the dentist a few times now and we started a re-root canal process.  NOT FUN.  This tooth had a root canal done over 12 years ago and is now rearing its ugly head again.  Not uncommon for me (unfortunately).

So I was put on a couple different drugs, one being a steroid and another being a very aggressive antibiotic.  The antibiotic made me very sick and very uncomfortable.  The steroid was awesome... but also had it side effects on me.  So I'm up in weight for sure because of that too (not just food)...

I didn't get in any exercise last week due to not feeling well.  I helped garden (a huge mo-fo garden) but that's all I really could do.

Oh and I got my lady friend.

All strikes against me this week, for weigh in at least.  I am starting to feel better.  I'm off the antibiotic as of Monday (was getting delusional - was quite scary) and started feeling more myself yesterday.  Still have an infected tooth, but hopefully after Monday that will all be better.

So obviously I gained (a lot, but not as much as I had thought I would)... but For next week, I commit to be better.  Better with eating, better with moving (I don't care what it is) and better all around.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!