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Thursday, April 17, 2014

It's all ME!

As always, I ate like shit at scrapbooking.  It's always my fault and I know it when I'm doing it.  And as always it's hard to get back on the bandwagon after I get back.  I have yet to do so... so it's been one week of eating like pure crap.  I feel like crap.  I know what I need to do.  I'm not doing it.

While at scrapping I threw out my back (well kinda)... I popped a rib out twisting somehow.  I ended up having to go to the chiropractor Friday afternoon and continuing it at least into this week.  I'm all sort of out of wack, it's not just my back.  They have adjusted both wrists, shoulders, ankles, hips, my neck and back.  My back and abdominal muscles are hating me, they spasm all day long.  It hurts.

Hence I haven't really worked out at all in a week either.  I took two walks in the last week and that's it.  So... you know what I'm going to say next right?  I gained 5 lbs.  It sucks.  I feel terrible.  I'm not happy with myself about it.  But, all I can do is get back on the wagon.  This shit isn't going to fix itself.

It's time I get my shit together or I'm going to be very sorry!   Working out is up in the air until I have my xrays read... I need to figure out what I can/can't do right now.  So, this week.  I'm back to tracking and seriously going to focus on staying within my points (and within the extras).

I need to do this for me!

Good luck to you this week.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

I got Costco'd

My emotions this week are totally mixed.  I exceeded my fitness goals and was happy doing so.  I got my weight lifting work outs in, my biking in (did an extra 15 minutes) and my extra extra work out was a 4 mile walk.  Which I enjoyed very much.  One week ago today we had a snow storm, 8-10 inches of snow fell.  As of yesterday ALL of our winter snow is gone!  People are outside walking, smiling and just looking healthy and happy.

I left yesterday (Wednesday) for my scrapbooking retreat that I do 3 times a year.  January, April and October.  Up until Tuesday my food was pretty much in check.  I was down over a pound.  I felt great... BUT then 4:00 p.m. Tuesday came.  I don't know what it is, but when I am "on vacation" I go into major vacation mode which means FOOD.

It's all I can think about.  Treats, treats, treats.  It first started out by getting "costco'd".  If you don't know what that means, it means I went through Costco during sample time.  Oh. My. Gawd.  They had great samples.  A few of the samples I had, I've actually bought the product before so I know what they tasted like.  Samples are supposed to be for things you haven't had and should tempt you to buy and try.  I went by one sample booth 3 times.  WTF!!!  I ended up buying it.  It was a greek yogurt jalapeno artichoke dip (awesome).  I still don't know the points for it, but it is fantastic.  Of dips, it's on the lower end.  I also bought the crackers to go with it.  They are gluten free after-all LOL.  I aslo bought another snack I shouldn't have and ate that for dinner followed by a blizzard (medium).

Other than that and some candy at work that I counted, I did well for food choices.  My weight loss this week was ZERO.  I stayed the same.  I guess that's better than gaining, but I truly thought I would lose at least one pound.  So I'm a little upset about it.  Not enough to totally throw me off, but I am scrapbooking... which means that there's shit food galore around.  I have a hard time saying no to the goodies.

I'm going to try my hardest to keep in check.  We'll see how it goes.  In the mean time, my fitness goals remain the same this week... 2 hours of bike and 2 days of weights.  I may try to fit in 3 days of weights because I'd like to start a leg routine.  But with being away until Sunday, that may not happen this week and may be a more attainable goal for next week.

Wish me luck as I wish you luck to be healthy and happy this week!

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

My Foot Sucks

So last week I talked about how much my foot hurt and that I met with a Podiatrist (and a Physician in training).  They told me to have an MRI done and then meet with the Dr. to discuss my results.  Well I did that on Tuesday.  I found out that I do not have tendon issues NOR a stress fracture.  What I have is early stage of Arthritis.  Where the arthritis is (where he thought I may have a stress fracture) is not a place where bones can be fused, these bones must be mobile.  So my options for treatment are 1) to try out orthotics to see if they can help 2) take an anti-inflammatory, but not more often than 2 / week and finally 3) steroid injection (if I can't manage the pain occasionally).  What does this do to me?  It makes me sad, feel sorry for myself and PISSED.  PISSED as hell.  WTF, I'm just adding to the list of areas where I have arthritis.  I already have it in my knees and hand (self diagnosed).

With those feelings comes the want to eat... eat to mask my feelings.  Well we all know that's not going to help.  Tuesday was the best day I had for food.  I had to work really hard not to eat my way through the day, but I was successful.  In fact, my husband and I went to the gym together and worked out (instead of sitting at home like I wanted to and feel sorry for myself).

Basically I just need to do exercises that don't hurt / irritate my foot.  Well there's not much that doesn't irritate it right now.  Even the biking irritates it... BUT I'm working through the pain and icing it afterwards.

I will probably rest it yet another week before I attempt to run or zumba... maybe even longer.  The doctor did not say that I had to stop those activities but basically in a matter of words said to make good decisions - because it's not going to be healed or go away.  It may not hurt all the time, but I need to be careful not to irritate it.

My foot this week sucked, yet again.  I made some good decisions and did some things well, but then others just blew it out of the water.  I can contain myself for a good part of the day and then BAM!  I binge.  It sucks.  I could be doing so well if I could just get that in check, because my exercise is on point.

I met all my exercise goals this week... 2 days (1 hour each) on the bike and 2 days weight lifting.  I don't like doing either of them... but I can tell (already) that the weights will be good for me.  I just need to force myself to do it.

My goals for this coming week is the same as last, but to try to focus more on my food.  I don't want to be -107 points again, like I was this week (and even more negative the week before). My weight loss results this week... I lost 1.2 lbs.

I'm going to shoot for being half that negative... so -50.  Maybe baby-steps of getting that in check will help me get back on track altogether.

I can't wait to be Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Patience is NOT my middle name

Last week I was in the "I feel sorry for myself mood" and the "I want what I want mode".  As you know my foot has been acting up.  I had an appointment made for this coming Monday to have my foot checked out.  It's not been getting better (really) and I wasn't super excited about the office I had made my appointment at.  So I decided to go to a different place.  Part of the reason behind that was because I knew they could get me in earlier than almost two weeks out AND I had been there before for my bunion.  So I called and made an appointment and got in yesterday.

We still don't know what's up with my foot.  I had a PA look at it before the other Dr.  The PA wasn't as "rough" and my foot hurt differently for her than it did for the other Dr.  She said she would recommend an MRI because the xrays didn't show anything really, but she could tell there was definite discomfort.  She thought it was two tendons in my foot... I think what they told me was the Peroneous Brevis and the Peroneus Tetius tendons, but shit I don't know.  When the gentleman Dr came in and checked it out... he pushed MUCH harder (I almost cried and instant got the sweats) and moved my foot differently.  He said he thought it was the Cuboid or possibly my tarsometatarsal joint... could be a hairline fracture or something.  So he too recommended an MRI be done.

So I go back next tuesday for the MRI and then I meet with him to go over the results right after... that's good news so I don't have to wait too long.

BUT this makes me sad.  I can't exercise like I want to... so I'm using it as an excuse to eat and feel sorry for myself.  There's plenty of exercise I could and should be doing, but I'm not.  I'm just sad.  I've eaten and drank everything in site and it showed on the scale.  I gained 1.8 lbs this week.

My goal is to slap myself this week... and get my food in check.  I cannot continue this up and down (mostly up) spiral.  I'm tired of it and disappointed in myself.  Doing this does nothing for me except put me further from goal.

I do still say and believe this though...

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

I Got Lucky

This weekend was the Get Lucky race.  My first 7k.  When I signed up I was so excited - mainly because of the sweatshirt they give you for signing up.  When I picked up my packet back in December I got even more excited because I bought some extra fun stuff - a tshirt, headband and stocking cap.  I was all geared up to start my training 2 months before the race.

I did start the training, but failed at keeping it going each time.  Then I had a couple of bad runs and was totally soured... in addition to the crappy temps.  I kept telling myself that I wouldn't run the race if 1) the roads were icy 2) the roads were snowy 3) if it was too cold, etc. etc.  So I think I started believing that I wasn't even going to to do it at all.  So you can see that I was totally unprepared for the race.  Totally.  Actually I was probably making myself sick over thinking about it over the last few weeks.

Well race week came.  I decided I wasn't going to even attempt a pre-race run because my foot was really bothering me (from the burpee challenge).  It was flaring up my plantar facitis and causing other issues to that foot as well.  So I thought it would be best to just do what I could during the race.  A few of us decided Thursday afternoon to look for a hotel room because we kept hearing about how bad it was to get into downtown, park and get to the race on time.  That actually made me a bit more excited... but still had the attitude that I was going to walk the majority of it.

left to right:  Amanda, Kara, Jackie, Me and Sarah
Us girls were joking about just running at least two minutes and then walk the rest.  But.  There was one of us that was like no, we are doing this.  We are running.  Then another gal got on board.  The other gal and I were like, well I guess it's you and I doing this together.  Kind of joking - but I think in the back of both of our minds we were thinking "we'll do what we can and that'll be good enough."

We all started out together.  It was cold, 10 degrees (or something like that).  We stood outside for probably a good 20 minutes before we got to the start line.  I did my zumba in line to get myself warmed up.  I was cold and miserable, so I needed something to heat me up.  The race started.  Kara ran ahead of us because she's a big time runner and really good!  Amanda and Jackie basically pulled out ahead of Sarah and I right away.  I never saw them again after about 2 minutes of running.  Sarah and I stuck together the whole time.

If you don't know what 7k is, it's 4.35 miles.  Longest run I've ever attempted.  I stopped once quick to grab water... walked up a half of a bridge and the rest (THE REST) I ran.  I basically ran the WHOLE thing.  As did Amanda, Jackie and Sarah.  Sarah and I crossed the finish line together.  It felt great.  I don't think we could have been more proud of ourselves!  Our time was 58:15.  I've never run that long or that far in my life.  In fact a year ago, I could have said I've never run in my life (on purpose).

Amanda and Jackie were 3 minutes ahead of us in their time...  not too shabby for 4 girls who didn't train a ton for a race!!!

It feels good.  I am proud... and now will be meeting with the foot doctor on the 31st because my foot is in sad shape.  I'm not sure what activity I can commit to this week or next (until I see the doctor).  I'm icing my foot a few times a day and will figure out what I can do to get some sort of work out in.  Maybe this is where I start my weight lifting again (I need to do that anyway).

I did lose weight this week - 1.2  I'm down 84.2 lbs now.  I'm not eating the greatest, so I don't feel the greatest and hoping to totally re-focus my food intake especially since my work outs need to be adjusted for now.

Take care and I wish you well this week... I hope you're proud of me too (and the other girls and runners).

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Two Year Anniversary

Well hello there... I'm happy to "see" you're reading my blog.  Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it, but I do know some of you out there do like to read it.  Some expect it.  And some, well they read it if they have time and it happens to come up on their Facebook feed when they're scrolling through.  Either way I'm cool with it.

Today marks my two year anniversary of being on Weight Watchers.  I've lost a total of 83 lbs in two years (at one point I was at 96 lbs lost... but I've been on quite the cycle lately).  A year ago I was down 78.4 lbs... so over the last year I've only netted a weight loss of 4.6 lbs.  So those of you that get discouraged of losing only .2 or staying the same, know that we all struggle.  All.Of.Us.  I'm actually pretty proud that I've managed to lose some in the last year... way better than gaining some (or all back).

So... onto the week.  This week was interesting.  I made some really great decisions and didn't do so well on two days... which is WAY better than I've been doing.

What I'm most proud of is that on two occasions I decided to wait until we got home to eat versus picking a restaurant to go to.  I was starving on both of these days, one Saturday and one Sunday.  I chose to wait until I got home because I knew that if we went to a restaurant, then I would pick something I shouldn't have (and we had pre-made food at home that I knew the point count).  One of the two days I actually made myself sick because I didn't eat "on-time".  I get sick and/or a migraine if I wait too long to eat.  It's weird because it's not a specific number of hours, I just know enough now that when I get the "feeling" I know I need to eat NOW.

I'm also proud that I'm still doing the burpee challenge.  I'm sure that I could be doing them better, but I'm able to do them my way.  Which is with the jump up, but no push up.  I'm sure my legs could go out further than they do sometimes, but I know I'm doing better with doing them the way I'm doing them than not at all.  Am I right???  (as long as I don't hurt myself of course)

I am continuing to go to Zumba.  Work is still very stressful so one of the days I had planned on going, I couldn't because I ended up working that night instead.  I was mad and feeling sorry for myself so that's one of the nights that I did terribly (Tuesday).

The other day I didn't do well was Saturday evening.  I went to the movies and had popcorn (a medium) and some reeces pieces and junior mints (this was all by myself).  The good news is that I didn't choose to eat the movie sized candies, they were the regular sized.

So I was negative this week, by plenty.  But, I've been much worse.  In fact I'm super proud of my lunch one day.  I hated what I brought for work... it was like the 5th day I had to eat it.  So I tossed it because it didn't taste good anymore.  So I ate an orange, some cucumbers and then contemplated going to our lunch room and getting their special (which was a buttery club sandwich with pasta salad).  I really wanted my friends lunch (she even offered half to me, probably because as she ate it - I sat there drooling), she had Erbert's & Gerberts Flash Sandwich.  I kept saying no I didn't want her sandwich and was thinking of what I could eat because I know I was going to get hungry.  All of a sudden I remembered I had cream of wheat at my desk. I made and ate that.  It was just fine to help tide me over until snack time (yogurt and almonds).

So I'd say this week was a total win!

I gained .2 this week.  Not sure why... no answers or excuses this week.  In general I did WAY better than I have been.  So I guess it's just not my week.  I'm losing the same 15 lbs again, so of course I'm angry at myself about that but seriously... at least I'm back on track.  Thinking about what I need for me and making it happen 95% of the time!

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Debby-Downer No More!!!

Last week we went on a mini-vaca up north (WTF were we thinking, it's freaking COLDER up there.  It was -24 below [actual temp without windchill] every day we were there) to go ice fishing.  While most of us caught fish, I ended up drinking and eating because I was not one of those catching fish.  I am up 2.4 lbs this week (ugh... my own fault) - I did not meet my goal of staying the same for the week.

While that part is bad, I DO have a good update.  I've been back to Zumba AND I'm doing the burpee challenge.  I didn't have appropriate shoes while we were up north (can't believe I didn't think about it because I was determined to do them up there) and I can't do it without shoes on because my feet are so bad.  In fact, it hurts my feet even with shoes on... but I'm doing this! We got home Monday and I had too much to do so I didn't do them either.  But Tuesday (after Zumba) I did day 2-6.  I'm on Day 8 today.  Every part of my body is S.O.R.E.

On another note:

I know I've been a debby-downer for a while now... I'm trying to snap out of it, but it's really hard.  I have been eating good for a few days and bad for most of the others.  My vacations are over now.  All of my excuses for splurging are gone until April 9.  Time to kick some ass!

I am committing to this:  I will hit my 100# by April 10.  I have 5 weeks to get this weight off.  I have 16.6 lbs to get off to hit this number.  That means I need to lose about 3.3 lbs a week.  I need to keep in my head that this can be done - I know it's a hefty goal!

Today marks the start of my goal.  I'm going to do it!

I can't wait to be Healthfully Ever After!