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Thursday, September 18, 2014

I'm not giving up!

This is going to be a very long journey for me... I'm not ready to give up.  BUT I need to figure out how to get myself back on track.  It's not really about counting points right now - because I'm not doing that well.  If I just made one small change to eat healthier, I guarantee at this point I'll lose weight.

Don't be sad for me or want to fix me.  Only I can do this for myself, I know that.  I'm at the point where I've almost gone too far, but not quite yet.  I had a setback this week that could not ever be imagined and I deal with things like that with food.  Which does not make me feel good, but it's like a drug and for the moment of time that I'm eating it - I have a sense of euphoria... then guilt.

Please no comments this week - I don't want them.  I know that you are thinking of me, wishing that you could help, etc. etc.  This is me, I need to do it.

I will hang in there, trust me.  I just need to get through this weekend... and keep remembering WHY I started.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Hmmm... Make it Happen?

Well I didn't.  I didn't make it happen.  I didn't get to the gym. I didn't do anything really.

I'm not sure what my deal is. I know I'm not going to give up.  BUT I don't know what will get me to kick it in gear.  Perhaps this cool weather we're getting will make me want to get out more?  Eat better?  Not sure, but something has to happen.

The only good news I have is that I didn't gain from last week, I stayed the same.  I guess that's good, but I really need to be losing not staying the same.

You have to eat right and exercise to do that though.  My challenge to myself is to hit that reset button.  I am challenging myself to get into the top 10 of my fitbit friends.  It'll probably take me all week to do it, but I need to make this happen.  I know what I want.  The only way I'm going to get it is by moving more and changing my eating habits.

I want to be Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Make it Happen

"Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen."


It's time, it's time for me to make it happen.  I'm up.  Up more than I ever thought I'd be.  Why you ask?  Because I'm doing nothing to make it happen.  I'm not counting points, measuring out my food, making good choices, etc. etc. etc.

It's time to make it happen.  Only I can do this for me.

I can't be mad at anyone else but myself.  I can't rely on anyone else but myself.  No one can make the decisions, but me.  I'm accountable, responsible and I can do this.

I will do this!  You'll see.  Next week, you'll see great change from me and my post.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Cyclical

I had a horrible week for eating.  Emotions took over.  Both kids left to go back to school... one to florida and the other to Denmark (OMG another country)...

So we met for lunches before they flew off to their respective places and I didn't make good choices.  Honestly, this whole week I didn't care.  Sadly.

I'm way up, not weighing in.  I'm going to the meeting but I'm not weighing in.  I know that it is not what I wanted... but I also know I'm human and I use food (still!!!) for comfort.  Even though, in the end, I'm not comforting myself.  All I feel is guilt and disgust.

Don't feel sorry for me... I know exactly what I'm doing to myself every time I go through this.  I will get myself back on track.  I have to.

I still can't wait to be Healthfully Ever After.


Thursday, August 14, 2014

Finished 7 days of clean eating... results??

So that was a challenging week.  Last Thursday when I wrote, I was still doing really well with my clean eating.  I did make it to the end of the challenge, but honestly from Thursday night until Sunday night - it was amazingly tough!  And from that point forward it's been tough...

Here's a recap of my week:

Thursday:  weigh in day.  I did great.  AMAZING - all day.  The challenge here was that we had our last night of fishing league and then a banquet afterwards.  The banquet consists of pitchers of beer and hamburgers for dinner (basically).   I knew this going in, so I prepared myself and had a salad in the truck on the way to launch the boat.  Then, when they were all drinking beer, eating fries and burgers... I had water.  OMG was that hard.  I was so proud though!

Friday:  Friday wasn't hard at all.  I was home all day, still sick.  No temptations, nothing.  However, Friday it was decided that I would go to Fargo for work on Monday morning - Wednesday afternoon.  I started panic mode immediately.  It's very hard to go there and be good, for many reasons.  1) no fridge in hotel 2) some really fun co-workers up there that typically results in drinking and dining (and literally that's all... well other than the work day) and 3) I was with my super fun co-worker that has two kids and likes to have fun when she goes away... and 4) my boss was going too - who is also a lot of fun.  So I had to prepare everyone that I wasn't going out and having fun... but also had to follow through with that.  I also knew that it would be really hard to eat clean when you are going to restaurants for 3 meals a day.

Saturday:  Again, still sick... but again I did very well.  We were super busy Saturday getting ready to have 18 people to our house the next day to celebrate.  I didn't forget to eat, but I had to fit it in (so I didn't get sick).

Sunday:  still sick, but had no choice but to buck up.  I had 18 people coming to my house at 2:00.  I had a dresser that needed to be finished (I'm painting my furniture from my parents house - since they've moved and bought new stuff) because we needed the space in the garage.  Then had to get the garage cleaned out and ready for the peeps.  Sunday absolutely sucked for me... food wise.  I held to my clean eating, but was PISSED about it.  No matter what, if I was eating something that I actually loved, I would have been pissed.  I had a salad, some shredded turkey and fruit.  Everyone else had - fish fry, my home-made tartar sauce, potato salad, pasta salad, buffalo chicken dip, chips and salsa, lemon bars, brownies - fish fry... did I say fish fry.  My very favorite.  I tried staying away from the food table, but my husband needed me to get him things occasionally and each time I had to get something for him - I had to stand by the fresh fish fry.  I had an extremely hard time.  But, I never caved.

Insert Monday:  Left for Fargo at 7:30 am.  Made myself a protein shake so I would be good for breakfast.  For lunch I ordered a tortilla wrap (turkey bacon avocado) and sweet potato fries.  I didn't eat very many fries.  Monday dinner - wha wha.  I wanted a burger.  Nothing more than a burger.  I had to sit through everyone eating one Thursday, Friday I couldn't eat the fish fry... I wanted a friggin burger.  Then I proceeded to have a 20 oz. beer.  Then a 16 oz. beer.  Then we moved restaurants, I had a few bites of appetizers (yes we ordered some after dinner, a couple more people met us out that hadn't eaten and all my co-worker and I ate was a burger - no fries)... I had another 16 oz. beer.  That was it.  It was 10:15, my co-worker said I needed another beer - I knew I didn't.  So I left and went back to the hotel.  She did not, she stayed out.  Didn't get home until 1:30 and didn't feel good in the morning.  I felt really good - I mean  I know I went off plan, but I actually could have been way way way worse.

Tuesday:  I went down to the restaurant to have breakfast.  I ordered grits with no cream (I think they put cream in them because they were AMAZING and I hate grits... I actually didn't realize I ordered grits, I thought I ordered oatmeal).  They were sweet grits and the way they tasted, I knew they were too good to be true.  but I ate them, and I was full!  Like, full!  until we went to lunch.  Lunch was at another freakin burger joint, but I ordered a turkey burger patty, no bun and a side salad.  PROUD!  Tuesday night, we went to a German restaurant... I had a bratwurst (with peppers and onions) and a smiggin of kraut with some potato pasta.  NO BEER.  I was home at 8:30 and in bed.  PROUD

Wednesday:  My last day of the trip.  I went to the restaurant to have breakfast again.  Ordered oatmeal with no cream - it came with a titch of brown sugar (not even a tsp), some raisins and cinnamon.  FABULOUS.  Lunch was on the road, Arbys.  I ordered potato cakes (6 pts - impressive to me) and a turkey deluxe club (13 points - YIKES).  But I knew I could make my evening work with that.  So for dinner I had a piece of corn on the cob, some shredded turkey and salsa.  I had a few bites of popcorn at my parents and then I stopped at DQ (bad choice, but I wanted it).  So I was over quite a bit on my points in the end, but still overall - pretty damn proud of my week!

Today is weigh in day - I am up .6 lbs from last week, but I'm ok with that.  Especially for having to travel for work and eat out 3/day.  I feel like it was a total success.  For this coming week, I'm not going to eat totally clean, but I will definitely be more conscious of bread and processed foods and try to eat clean as much as possible.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Clean Eating with Weight Watchers

So last week I signed up to start a 7 day clean eating challenge.  The person who started it provides a grocery list for you for the week and then each day (the day before) posts the meal plan for you.  Now, I'm a rule follower so this works well for me.  BUT I am also a planner.  While the grocery list is great to get, I would like to have the week full of meal planning.  I'm not sure though, if I were to get that, would I follow so completely as I have been.

The grocery shopping happened Sunday.  The eating started Monday.  The eating is basically eating foods in their most raw form (prior to cooking of course).

Before I started on Monday... I think I was feeling just as we all felt the day before you knew you were going to start weight watchers.  "OMG I need to eat everything now, because Monday I'm not going to be able to eat anything anymore."

Well we all know how silly that is, but I'm guessing most of you can relate.

So anyway - clean eating.  At first I was just going to follow her plan and not track my food, but then I got really curious.  So I tracked.  I get 34 points a day (I've gained some because at one point I was down to 30 I think).  Day 1 - I was dead on the 34 points.  Day 2 - 1 point under.  Day 3 - I added some extra foods, but will be 7 points under.

Her meal plan is a suggestion and I see many of the folks adding to their meals and if I were to eat the oatmeal with nuts - I'd probably be much less under.  But instead I chose to make the 2 egg, 2 egg white omlette with 1/2 c of black beans and spinach.  7 points.  I was full for HOURS.  I ate that at 8:30 am.  A snack at 10:30 (wasn't all that hungry)... which was 3/4 c 0 fat greek yogurt, with strawberries and honey.  Then at 1:30 I finally ate lunch (wasn't that hungry again) and that was chicken stew with corn, black beans and salsa.  I added avocado to it to give it some fat and flavor.

How do I feel eating this way?  Well, I have many feelings.  1) I'm not hungry at all 2) I'm surprised 3) I feel great (besides being sick) 4) I realized that I'm eating how I did (basically) when I was in my honeymoon phase of WW.  So, really it's a lot like most of us eat when we're ON PLAN... if you're a WW (most of you are or have been - that's how you even know about my blog).

So would I recommend it?  HELL YES

What were my results?  Well they are A-typical.  For a few reasons... 1) I ate a lot of salty bad foods leading up to Monday.  2) I got my period Saturday and it was gone by Wednesday - water weight gone.  3) I'm also sick (although I'm making myself eat what is suggested)... but my results are:

- if you compare from last Thursday to this Thursday I've lost 4 lbs
- if you compare from where I was when I stepped on the scale on Monday to this Thursday - I've lost 8 lbs

Again, my results are skewed due to the reasons I listed... so had I been eating like this all along and not gone way overboard before - I probably would have dropped 1-3 lbs this week.  Regardless... I'm going to continue... because I feel great and I'm loving the food I'm making AND this is the kick/change I needed - to be able to still count points but eat clean.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Back Tracking

I had an amazing week... in my personal life.  My step-son was visiting last week (as you know) and his girlfriend flew in last Monday night so we did a bit of eating out but it was just so nice to have him around and meet his girl friends.  She's super sweet!

Food wise, I did ok.  I did a lot of back-tracking... meaning I ate and then I tracked later.  Sometimes a whole day later.  My food was not on point, but I tracked as I said I would.  I also went for a run-walk on Saturday.  I got a lot of steps in on Saturday - 15,000 steps.  In general, I moved more last week.

Unfortunately, I re-injured myself with my attempted run.  So now I'm using a foam roller to try and work out my hip / hip flexor problem.  It's extremely painful... as is the foam rolling.  You're probably cringing if you've ever done it.  I hear if you do it often, it's not so bad.  But starting out, it hurts like a BITCH.

It is helping though.

However, with that - I am bowing out of the dirty girl run this weekend.  I'm still going and cheering on my group and the others there, but I'm not participating.  I'm in too much pain (or was) to re-injur myself or make it worse yet.  So I'm bringing my camera and will take lots of pictures.

My husband is going out of town this weekend... which is never good for me.  BUT - I'm going to make my one (HUGE) small change this weekend and NOT get out of control when he's gone.  I'm going to look up healthy/fun recipes to make that he would NEVER eat.  He doesn't like the fancier foods like me - so when he's gone I need to take advantage of maybe some of the funkier-fancier healthy foods that I can't make when he's here.

I'm also going to start a clean eating challenge on Monday.  I'm very excited for it.  But have to get prepared for it this weekend because it's very different (not totally I guess) than how I eat now.  I'm hoping this breaks my sugar issue.  I've also warned my husband.  So by the end of it - we will see whether he loves me or hates me :) LOL

Have a great week, I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!