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Friday, October 31, 2014

Hiatus

So I went on a short hiatus.  Hoping to get my act together before I made another post.  Unfortunately during my hiatus, I ended up going away (planned) for 5 days.  5 days of fun with friends and food.

It did not go well.  I made bad choices and of course they showed on the scale.

My mother is extremely upset with how I'm doing and is blaming herself.  Which absolutely drives me crazy.  To the point where I've now gotten mad at her for ever bringing it up.  It doesn't help me one bit for her to say things like that and just makes me angry.  She now knows it, but is still making reference to it.  She needs to stop (I know you're reading this).

This is my journey... good or bad, the choices I make are mine.  It has nothing to do with what you have in your home.  It has everything to do with how I choose to eat.  What I choose to do when I'm alone.

My injury and inability to exercise right now has not helped, although this week I'm feeling much better and HAVE to exercise.

I do not feel sorry for myself, but I do need to figure out why I'm not putting in the effort.  I loved how I felt when this weight was gone.  I loved where I was going.  I need to remember that.  Still allow some fun, but I need to get back on the saddle and ride this journey out.  I need those bad foods/choices to go away!

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!


Thursday, October 9, 2014

Annibirthday Week

So it was a week of celebrations... it was my birthday Monday and my anniversary yesterday.  What does that mean?  Well since my husband and I don't do much for presents these days it means eating out.  It also means that for my mommy and I.  I've celebrated well this week.

It showed on the scale, not surprised.  But I am surprised that it's not more.  However, I will say that I did TRY to eat less during other meals (didn't always work) that weren't the celebration meals.  At least that's a step in the right direction.

I failed at tracking.  I will be tracking this week, starting now!

Have a great week...

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Bad Bad Girl, Naughty!

I had a fantastic weekend!  Friends, food, drinks and fun.  Lots of drinking and eating out - which equates to a roller coaster of other eating issues for the week.

It showed on the scale.

I can't expect anything different.  I knew what I was doing. I'm going to restart this week.

I am going to be alone this weekend.  Which is always tough for me, so I will be making a food plan for the weekend.  Trying to be good, because Monday is my birthday... and what do we do for birthday's?  We celebrate.  UGH

There's always something right?  I just need to make better choices on the non-celebrating days as well as all the rest of the meals.  I can do this.  I'm worth it!

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, September 25, 2014

One week at a time

So, last week was kind of a come to Jesus meeting for me.  I use stress and sadness (and happy times too) to eat.  Stress/sadness is nervous eating.  Happy times of course is celebratory eating.  I can't win.  I have asked myself over and over "What do you really want?"  "Is it worth it?"  Sometimes I say I want this food, it is worth it - and then I regret it... and sometimes I say no and feel so successful.

This week was incredibly tough.  One of my very best friends has just lost her husband (unexpectedly) and the funeral was over the weekend.  I had been over eating way before this all happened and once I found out I noticed every time I thought about her I would eat.  EAT EAT EAT.

And... as you know I've kept gaining, gaining, gaining!

This past week, I really really tried.  I tried not to over eat, I tried to track and I tried to exercise.  I was mostly successful.  My points were not on point, but they were WAY better than I have been.  It did show on the scale this week and for that I'm happy.

BUT, it was a constant struggle.  I still have a long way to go and I'm no longer in my Weight Watcher honeymoon.  I haven't been for well over a year.  This year has been incredibly tough on me - for some reason I just can't stay on track.

However, I am going to continue to work at this.  Continue on what I feel was a super successful week for me last week - even though it wasn't a huge weight loss.  It's still a success and the scale moved in the right direction.  BECAUSE of me.  BECAUSE of my constant thinking about what I really want.

I'm still in it to win it!  It feels good. I felt way better this week and I am excited to see how I can overcome challenges this week.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, September 18, 2014

I'm not giving up!

This is going to be a very long journey for me... I'm not ready to give up.  BUT I need to figure out how to get myself back on track.  It's not really about counting points right now - because I'm not doing that well.  If I just made one small change to eat healthier, I guarantee at this point I'll lose weight.

Don't be sad for me or want to fix me.  Only I can do this for myself, I know that.  I'm at the point where I've almost gone too far, but not quite yet.  I had a setback this week that could not ever be imagined and I deal with things like that with food.  Which does not make me feel good, but it's like a drug and for the moment of time that I'm eating it - I have a sense of euphoria... then guilt.

Please no comments this week - I don't want them.  I know that you are thinking of me, wishing that you could help, etc. etc.  This is me, I need to do it.

I will hang in there, trust me.  I just need to get through this weekend... and keep remembering WHY I started.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Hmmm... Make it Happen?

Well I didn't.  I didn't make it happen.  I didn't get to the gym. I didn't do anything really.

I'm not sure what my deal is. I know I'm not going to give up.  BUT I don't know what will get me to kick it in gear.  Perhaps this cool weather we're getting will make me want to get out more?  Eat better?  Not sure, but something has to happen.

The only good news I have is that I didn't gain from last week, I stayed the same.  I guess that's good, but I really need to be losing not staying the same.

You have to eat right and exercise to do that though.  My challenge to myself is to hit that reset button.  I am challenging myself to get into the top 10 of my fitbit friends.  It'll probably take me all week to do it, but I need to make this happen.  I know what I want.  The only way I'm going to get it is by moving more and changing my eating habits.

I want to be Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Make it Happen

"Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen."


It's time, it's time for me to make it happen.  I'm up.  Up more than I ever thought I'd be.  Why you ask?  Because I'm doing nothing to make it happen.  I'm not counting points, measuring out my food, making good choices, etc. etc. etc.

It's time to make it happen.  Only I can do this for me.

I can't be mad at anyone else but myself.  I can't rely on anyone else but myself.  No one can make the decisions, but me.  I'm accountable, responsible and I can do this.

I will do this!  You'll see.  Next week, you'll see great change from me and my post.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!