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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Heartburn City!!!

Planning for the previous week did work well for me... however I was afraid for this past weekend with my retreat, with good reason -  it ended up being as bad as I thought it would be.  I had very little will power for chocolate and my portion sizes for my meals were like they were before I started weight watchers.  I'm not sure what happened to me but I just couldn't stop eating... and it showed!

Saturday was my worst day - I ate so much that I didn't feel well for most of the day.  I knew at the time when shoving more and more food into me that I didn't feel well and couldn't stop myself from eating more (and more).  I went to bed super full and sure enough, I awoke at about 3:15 am with heartburn... I rolled over and there it was.  A bit came up and went down the wrong tube :(.  I got up quick and went out of the room so that I could continue to cough and swallow for about one full hour.

I drank two bottles (plus) of water and then I was left full again.  I tried to lay back down but because of being so full of water, it was making it worse... but that was the only thing that made me feel better (for a second).  I ate a banana thinking that I could get some of that burning out of my system - no dice.  More full and more miserable then.

I tried lying down twice before giving up for about an hour... I ended up sitting in a dark room by myself with my mother worrying about me in the other room.  I was in pain, embarrassed and pissed off at myself for not controlling the eating for the day.  Also not sure why I didn't just take a heart burn pill before going to bed (pride?).  Anyway - I was up until at least 5:30 am before I was able to lay back down... with success of falling back asleep.

I woke up with a sore throat, feeling full and miserable.  Most of it went away, but I can still feel a little bit of the effects today (still) and it's Tuesday.  The only good to come out of this story is that when this happens (it has only happened a FEW times in my life - unfortunately two of those with my mom at the retreats) it scares me enough to really think about what I did and how to combat it next time.

The next retreat is in January so there's much time that will lapse between now and then - but I can guarantee I won't forget it and will do much better next time.

I'll tell you more about my week / weekend on my Thursday post!

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Planning for a disaster worked!!

Well hello there, can you already tell (maybe by the post title) that I did well this week?  I did!  I lost 3.6 lbs, got my next 5 lb "star" and am down a total of 56.2 lbs.  It was a very challenging week, but I did well.  By planning for the cook - off event, I did prevail!!!

So let's rehash my week, My goals were:

  • Work out at least 3 times - met this goal
  • Get my 100% on my activity link 3 times - surpassed this goal - I met 100% on 4 days and 2 days I was 97/99%.  So this was a good exercise week!
  • Work out Saturday - whether it's a walk or actually getting my ass to the gym (I think the elliptical is  calling my name again... EEK) - I did not go to the gym, BUT I ended up having an impromptu photo shoot and did plenty of walking through a park.
  • Clean my house (that should get me at least 100% one day AND count for my work out)  - I only had to clean half the house because of the photo shoot, my dear husband did a lot of cleaning for us.
  • Make smart choices on Sunday's event. - I ate all of the casseroles but I did well because I accounted for everything I ate as best I could.

I know we've talked about planning, writing everything down, making sure to get exercise in - blah blah blah.  BUT as you can see it works.  I cannot stress this enough.  I know that I'm on Weight Watchers and some of you may not be... but whatever you are doing I'm sure it involves some sort of tracking of what you put in that pie whole of yours.

If you remember last week I was worried about the next two weeks... well I'm in week two, at the scrapbooking retreat and listen to this... our meals are:  Mac & Cheese (buffalo and grown up type); pork chops & sauerkraut, breakfast of eggs bacon sausage tortillas - etc; another breakfast meal... the list goes on and on.  Let's not forget about all the effin treats people bring.  UGH.

Anyway - my goal is to lose weight this week but also to be able to have some of the treats and be able to eat the meals everyone else does.  So what does that mean for me?  That means that I'm leaving the retreat to go to water aerobics tonight, tomorrow morning, next Monday and trying to get a walk in some other time this week.  I can't add in staying within my points because that's going to be hard - therefore I'll have to keep the work out intensity up.

With that said - I'm going to keep up with some major planning, making smart choices on the treats that I eat - making them WORTH the choice.  So wish me luck... I don't have any other advice this week except to reiterate the importance of keeping track of what goes in your mouth at all times (make sure it's worth it) and exercise.

If you have any great tips for me this weekend (I'm here until Sunday) please do share as I'll need the help this week.

I hope you have a great week and I'll be thinking about you this week.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

I like to move it, move it!

Well I made two of my three my goals from last week:

  1. Made my 100% 3x this week (but it should have been 4... because I worked out hard one day and didn't get credit).
  2. Didn't use all of my extra points
What I didn't make was the 0.8 lb weight loss, I gained 1.6... but you know what, that's ok!  I am soooo not discouraged at all... read on and you'll see why!

Yesterday I woke up and literally felt heavier.  Sho'nuff, I weighed myself and I was up 2 lbs.  I thought it was because the pills I take got a little messed up, but after thinking more about it I couldn't figure out what was really messed up about them.  Then I thought maybe I'm retaining water from my walks I've been taking because my feet/legs feel heavy...   I don't know.  Regardless I don't really care.  I know that I did better this week than I have in a long time and didn't feel like I was naughty going into this weigh in.

This is how I got my exercise in this week:
  • Thursday: water aerobics - this is the one that didn't count and I worked my ass of, I mean it showed up on my activity link but I didn't get enough credit for it in my mind :)
  • Monday: water aerobics - I was NOT going to let that happen again so I worked even harder and stayed another 15 minutes after class just moving around in the pool.  I still had some activity I needed to do when I got home so I kept myself busy until I saw that 100%
  • Tuesday:  I went for a nice long walk on Tuesday night with my husband (2.5 miles... we're walking at about a 17:24 minute mile - pretty good clip for me).
  • Wednesday:  I walked to my hair appointment.  Let me repeat, I walked to my hair appointment.  I was so proud of myself.  It was just shy of 1 mile to walk there and when I got home I was at 98% of my goal so I knew I would make it by the time I went to bed.  All I had to do was walk out to my mailbox to get my mail and I had my 100%.
My water aerobics instructor is going to be out of town now for 2 weeks... so I told her that I'd teach the class on the down low.  Which is great for me because I have to be there and I can't make up excuses for why I can't go... even though I normally don't because I really like water aerobics.

Getting back to my week and what's ahead for me:
I ate really bad Friday night but for the rest of the week I did fairly well.  I'm not unsatisfied with that at all.  I'm, also not unsatisfied with my results this week because I know that my hard work will show up in the next couple of weeks... which are going to be REALLY tough for me.  The next two weeks include:
  • This week:
    • Saturday - the hubs and I are going out to dinner to celebrate our anniversary... I'm sure a steak is in my future.  I'm going to do my very best to only eat half of my meal and take the other half home for leftovers.
    • Sunday:  family cook off.  We celebrate fall birthdays each year with a cook off competition (I won last year with the mac&cheese contest... I made reuben mac & cheese).  This year it's casseroles... I'm pretty sure that no one is going to make a healthy version of a casserole.  My goal is to take a little bit of each casserole but to have a salad on hand to make up the difference on my plate.  Wish me luck - I'm making King Ranch Chicken Casserole.
  • Next week - scares the ever living shit out of me... Wednesday - Sunday we are going scrapbooking with 10 ladies.  Everyone brings a meal to share - so I have no control over what I'm eating really... so I'll have to control the portions and my snacking.  The good news about this trip is that it's in buffalo.  So I have the option to drive to the gym and get my work outs in (which I truly think I'll do on Thursday and Friday) and I will be able to weigh in on Thursday.  I'll be missing some prime scrapbooking time for this but I know it'll be worth it.
After my WW meeting this week, I chatted with one of the members (and she's a member of my blog too - Hi Kara) and she gave me a tip... hydrate BEFORE my walks.  Weigh myself before and after... and if I weigh less I was not hydrated enough and if I weigh more then I was too hydrated... the goal is to stay the same right after a work out.  Makes sense to me!

My goals for this week:
  • Work out at least 3 times
  • Get my 100% on my activity link 3 times
  • Work out Saturday - whether it's a walk or actually getting my ass to the gym (I think the elliptical is  calling my name again... EEK)
  • Clean my house (that should get me at least 100% one day AND count for my work out)
  • Make smart choices on Sunday's event.
That's plenty!  

The recommendation I have for you this week (and I know I don't always practice what I preach) is find some activity that you like doing.  Exercise along with eating healthy can do nothing but produce results... even if you have to wait for those results.

But if you're like me and have ZERO patience for waiting... it's very hard to wait and sometimes a bit discouraging.

Seriously though... if you've read through my blogs you can see that I have had great results. Working out has now become a requirement to maintain and push forward my weight loss. Just this morning  I purchased another pair of tennies so that I can walk during my lunch hours.  I have at least one partner that wants to go with me... so I'm pretty excited for those to be shipped.  I hope they fit, I hate buying shoes online!

So the moral of my story this week is - figure out how you can get yourself to "like to move it" and don't give up, no matter what! Negative results on the scale are not always your fault (sometimes they are though... you know that right?!).  You need to keep your head up high, focus, eat healthy and exercise.  That's only 4 things you need to do (not too shabby).

Take care all and have a good, successful and healthy week!

I cannot wait until I'm healthfully ever after!

Friday, October 12, 2012

A little motivation goes a long way!

I thought I'd post this out here for you... this is my motivational picture (on the left) and what I look like as of Saturday (it was my birthday picture).  I bought the dress for a wedding in hopes that it looks just a little bit better on me in a month... I bought it for a wedding.

I'm a little over 1/3 of the way to my goal!  YAY me!!!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

You say it's your birthday...

It was my birthday too yeah!  I had a fabulous, extremely busy birthday weekend.  It was incredibly fun, but full of food (of course).  I know that I'm not supposed to be all about food, especially since I've done so well to this point. But man, a girl's gotta live every once and a while!  You know those skinny bitches out there let loose once and a while too!

I went to two movies this weekend with my mommy (my best friend if you didn't know yet).  We got a large popcorn BOTH times and soda.  Even though I wanted that orange Fanta I ended up getting Diet Coke.  So a little win for me (go me!!!).  I ate at least (if not more) than half of each of those popcorn buckets, but hey - no butter was put on it so it's OK, right?  UGH no!  Regardless I made the conscious choice to eat it each time.  The second night of movie going was my idea to get the popcorn (damn movie popcorn).

On my birthday we went out for a very nice dinner (and the hubby got to go too - YAY!!!!).  I had two lamb chops (omg they were good but so frickin small!) and some potatoes and veggies were served with it.  I thought that was a fantastic, smart choice when I could have ordered a big 'ol steak!  I did have a glass of wine (oops forgot to count that :))... and for dessert - Brown Sugar Creme Brulee.  I ate the shit out of that.  That is one of my guilty pleasures and I deserved to have a birthday dessert right?

Other than that I did pretty well trying to make "decent" decisions and really tried to track what I was eating regardless.  Really that's what it's all about.  If not for tracking, I probably would have had a regular soda, more wine and who knows what else... Probably a caribou breakfast sandwich along with my two birthday Caribou drinks (oh don't worry I got the northern lite lattes as usual).  I did go over my points many days this week/weekend and used up all my extra point allowance plus some (a lot).  But even with that, I knew exactly what I was doing.

Anyway I wanted to write this post today to say - yeah it's OK to let loose once and a while... but deep down either write down what you're eating or mentally keep track of what you've eaten for the day (days) so you don't get to the point of no return.  You cannot get back into the habit of starting again tomorrow or next week.  No matter what you're doing today, it will affect tomorrow.  Make good decisions and maybe if there's three things you really want, then choose one of the three and take that as a win.  It's all about winning (and losing of course).  That inner battle you have going on in your head has to be overcome and if you take small steps towards that goal of yours, you will see results.

I did meet my goal from last week which was only to stay this same this week - anticipating a fun filled weekend... I actually lost .8 lbs.  So now my total is 54.2 lbs gone.  Very proud of that, but I have to be honest - I was scared as hell to find out if I did stay the same.  So today starts a new week and I need to set some goals for me.  I didn't exercise much this last week being sick and busy and all, so I definitely need to get that back in gear again.  I mean I can't stop now right?!

My Goals This week are:

  • To exercise 3x this week... to make that 100% on my ActiveLink for those three days (at a minimum).  
  • My second goal is to not use all of my extra points up.
  • I want to lose .8 this week so that I can reach my 55 lb weight loss
I wish you all a good, healthy and smart week.  You can do it, shoot if I can - you can!  Remember that you are worth this battle.  It's not about being skinny (it shouldn't be), it's about being healthy for you... and your family.  Now let's get active!

I can't wait until I'm healthfully ever after.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Emotional Eating

I'll start off with did I meet my goals this week?!  And the answer is, I met 2 of the 3.  I came really close on two days to meeting my exercise goal, but didn't quite make it.  I'm guessing if I averaged it out, it would be though.  I actually lost 3.4lbs this week and I'm totally shocked.  You'll see that I stayed within my points... huh what a thought right?  But seriously... I just lost 2.6 lbs last week - I never thought I'd lose this much this week.  I'm elated!

So my goals this week were:
  1. Post a picture of my progress (I did, finally... check it out!)
  2. Meet my ActiveLink goal 5 days (let's be honest, 7 is tough for me right now) -- not met, not even close.  I got 3 out of 7 (even if I didn't get sick I wouldn't have met it... but would have been 4 out of 7)
  3. Stay on track... after a big weight loss, my goal is just to stay the same next week.  (I think the big bad wolf will be here to try and counter act my weight loss this week) -- Yep I did this!!!  Only used the majority of my "extra" points and no extra-extra!!!
Anyway that's besides the point... the huge win for me this week is that I stayed within my allotted points... and by allotted, I mean those extra's they give you too.  It was NOT a good week for me emotionally.  I'm feeling very sorry for myself and couldn't get full a few days no matter what.  But the huge win for me was as upset as I got, I didn't turn to food to help me through my sadness... instead I kept telling myself about my end goal.  And how I want to get there - there will always be something that tries to throw me off and I just need to fight like a girl (I think girls are way tougher than men!!!).  Regardless, I'm sure you're just dying to know why I'm sad.

I'm sad because I'm so selfish.  It's like I'm an only child sometimes... and I can't help it.  It's my birthday this Saturday and my birthdays have always been special... well until I met my husband.  He doesn't think they are a big deal AT ALL.  He tends to disappoint me on my birthday each year (sorry honey, it's true).  He doesn't understand why I think they are a big deal... and frankly neither do I.  It is just another day really... but my mom and family always made big deals about birthdays.  They were always celebrated and usually with a bunch of family.  I'm not so big on having the big family celebrations anymore but I still like it to be a special day.

So with that said... the year we got married my husband's friends/family started a pheasant hunting weekend (they left the night of our wedding after the ceremony and friggin' awesome party).  The year after we got married my husband decided that not only was he going to be a deer hunter, he was also going to be a pheasant hunter and join in on their fun.  I'm cool with that, really... because I like my "free to be me" time.  But this trip always falls on my birthday AND our anniversary pretty much every year (since they are two days apart).  And usually he's super crabby getting ready for it; so not only does he not have time to make my day special, he's not here for it and is super crabby and sometimes down right mean to me.  He has missed our 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 5th and 6th anniversary because of this trip.  Again, I would never tell him not to go but really resent the fact that it's always during this time.  Oh and guess what, SURPRISE he doesn't think anniversaries are a big deal either.

Every year I look to see which weekend the pheasant opener is in North Dakota.  Every year it give a tentative date and hasn't changed in the 6 years he's gone.  This year is the same deal, it said it was this weekend.  So I made a bunch of plans with my mom to go up to Brainerd (only because I have a photo shoot on Saturday - my bday) and stay the weekend.  Then I find out that my steps son's homecoming game is that Saturday too.  So, because I'm a good step mom, I want to attend that... but now that's over 1/2 my day spent on other people.  So I decided to take Friday off and go up on Friday morning so that I can get some more fun time in with my mom (she's awesome and if you know her, you agree with me I'm sure).  Ok, that's still sounds like a decent weekend right?

Well!!! My husband calls me on Monday night (as he was going up to Brainerd to see his son play in the JV game... I stayed home so that I could go to water aerobics).  Guess what he tells me?  This year Pheasant opener is next weekend, not this weekend.  EFF!  So now I feel super guilty that I'm leaving him, but am too selfish not to change my plans.  Plus I couldn't do that last minute to my mom either (but really it's all about me).  And he's been kinda off this week since that all happened.  I did invite him to go to dinner with us on Saturday night and he is coming so that makes me feel much better... and I arranged for my sister to take care of the dogs... but still can't get over this feeling... and being mad that I'm so selfish.

AND, get this!!!  I started to feel sick on my way home from work on Tuesday.  Yesterday was horrible... I went to work for an hour, left and came home and laid in bed ALL DAY and NIGHT... hence the no exercise yesterday.  So, now I'm sick... hoping I get better by the weekend... but not likely.  I can't take pictures of a 6 month old if I'm sick... I can't get her or her family sick.  I don't have time to reschedule it :(  And I don't want to disappoint them... and most of all I don't want my whole weekend to be effed up because of being sick.  This just sucks.  

I tell you all of this because I want you to understand my big win.  I repeat... through all of this I've tracked all my points and stayed within them.  If this was last year... I would have ate everything in our house, gone grocery shopping and ate all that food and we would have probably gone out to eat too!  So no matter what happens on the scale this week, I am still a winner!  Being that I'm so competitive (even with my own self), it feels really good!

I did hit the grocery yesterday and bought gelato!!!  Not my favorite, but it was the lowest point ice cream-ish type thing I could have and still weigh in today and feel good about myself.  So I guess that's a HUGE win too!

I apologize for the horribly long post, but in order for you to understand my big win - you needed to hear my life story this week.

My goals for this week are:
  1. Stay on track
  2. Stay the same weight for next week - being that it's my birthday weekend and all... I'm going to be at a place where every meal will be eaten out... so breakfast / lunches will be healthy but I'm going to go hog wild for dinski (probably won't but it sounds good doesn't it?).
I hope you have a good week and can stay away from the emotional eating... It's sooooooo hard to do, but in the long run it will pay off and you know it will!  You must keep your end goal (make sure it's not a weight loss number... but maybe a pant size or a "feeling").  Please leave me a comment about some of your emotional eating struggles and how you handled them... even if it was going for the emotional eating.  It only helps the rest of us.

I can't wait until I'm healthfully ever after!