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Thursday, August 30, 2012

Not the model Weight Watcher this week!

Well, I must confess I ate terribly this week!  It wasn't because I felt bad from eating so well last week and still gaining 1.8 lbs... it was because of my aforementioned STATE FAIR trip.  And the lovely aftermath of that visit where I wanted more bad food and nothing could fill me up.  NOTHING!!!

Anyway, even though I ate so bad... I lost 2.8 lbs this week.  WHAT???  Ugh, I will never understand this body of mine.  It's definitely not because I just got over my lady time... I just cannot explain this week.  All I can say is... I never gave up.  I counted everything that went into my mouth - regardless of whether I was at 100 points FOR THE DAY!!!  To give you a perspective of how bad that was, for those non Weight Watcher members, I can have 39 points per day (yes that's a lot, I'm fat.  I get more for now).  I can also use 49 extra points a week... and even more if I exercise.

Oh speaking of the shiny object... I definitely met that goal this week!!

So as you can see, 100 points in a given day is Uh-maz-zing-ly bad.That ONE DAY used up all of my daily points, extra points AND some.  I tried to compensate for that for the next few days, but that only made me more hungry.  So I ate over my points on Tuesday and Wednesday too.  Was it all worth it?  HELL NO.  Only Sunday at the fair of course.  Thank god for walking all over hell and creation at the fair.

Anyway I digress...  but this totally brings me to a topic that one of you viewers asked me about.  Here's the request... straight from the Facebook's mouth (private message rather)...

One thing I'd be curious (in terms of topics to write on): given that this is often a "life long" challenge, how do you remain hopeful & not feel defeated? That is one thing I really struggle with...knowing that like an alcoholic, for example, it is something I will ALWAYS have to work at. Also, how do you overcome really bad days? In other words, how do you "get back on the saddle"? 

How do I remain hopeful?
Well I can't say that I always do... but what I can say is that it feels different this time.  Even  more so than when I went all gung-ho in '01 when I decided I had to do something.  I know that this is the last time, I know that I don't have another chance to do this and I WANT IT THAT BAD!  If you don't want it that bad, it's only going to be a temporary fix.

I have a lot of support in my journey... my husband has been fabulous (I think I've mentioned that before).  Sadly I think it's because he is/was disgusted with the way I look (by the way I've only told like one or two people I think he feels this way).  I don't blame him.  I find myself disgusting too.  My mom has been great and I've got a couple of great ladies at work that I lean on.

When I fall off the wagon, what gets me back on?
Well again, this week was tough.  The weight loss this week will help me tremendously... because if I would have gained today - I probably would have stopped at KFC for lunch like I wanted to for weeks now.  So I'm glad I didn't and came home and had a salad that would probably feed a family of 5.  Yeah, I said it... I'm not afraid to admit I'm a bulk eater!

But truthfully - like I said, it's different this time.  I'm so ready for this AND I feel like total and utter shit when I eat bad now.  So that helps.  However, I know that horrible feeling won't last if I keep doing what I did this week.  So - thank you Lord Jesus for giving me a break today!  So what gets me back on right now?  My 4 pairs of silver cropped jeans that I haven't worn for 2+ years because I no longer fit in them.  Do you know how expensive those friggin jeans are?  UGH, thank god I can wear them again.  Pretty soon they will only have cost me $2 a wear (not sure if you follow... but each time I wear something the cost of it goes down because I divide the price by the # of wears - I learned that from my Aunt).

Is food an addiction?
Hell yes, and anyone that would tell you different has never had a weight problem.  But you could probably bet they have some other addiction to get over.  I am very obsessive-compulsive when it comes to food.  If I stop at McDonalds even one day (when I'm in my OC mode) I cannot stop myself from stopping.  For example, in the winter I don't come home before I hit the gym for water aerobics (I'm back on that saddle again too - due to my need to meet my goals).  There is a stupid McDonalds on the way through the back roads and their friggin dollar menu gets me every time with that lovely McChicken sandwich.  So, I finally had to stop it and the only way to stop it was to take a different route.  I now come home before I hit the gym.  We'll see what this winter brings though... I'm guessing with the mode I am in - I can say no.  Or at a minimum count the points for that evil sandwich that gives me such bad heartburn anyway!

So is this a life-long challenge as you (my FB anonymous friend)... you bet your sweet ass it is.  We both know that though... anyone with a weight problem knows that and if they don't - they haven't been dieting long enough.

All of my challenges this past week came true and of course I could have done better handing them, but man I had fun at the fair.  That red-velvet funnel cake was da-bomb-diggity.  I hate red velvet anything, well I used to.  Good thing I only had a few pieces.  I did exercise some control at the fair and do believe that if I hadn't started eating healthy again I totally would have eaten a hell of a lot more.  My stomach would have been able to!

So what are my challenges this week?

  • Como Park tomorrow with my mom and niece -- but I think I got this one in the bag.
  • Mom coming to stay for most of the weekend - we will definitely make decent choices, but not all choices will be great I'm sure.
That's it I think... not to shabby for the week I'd say.

What are my goals???

Well let me tell you about a little toy Weight Watchers has now... (there's a catch - $5 monthly fee and you have to be an e-tools member) it's call ActiveLink.  It will track all of my movement/activity and show me how much activity (=activity points) I've had for the day.  There's an 8 day assessment and then it will set a 12 week goal for me to meet.  I couldn't be more excited.  It is like a body bug or whatever those things are... but WAY cheaper.  It only cost $39.95 and $5/month.

So my goal is still to get 3 days of exercise in and I'll get one in tonight with water aerobics.  The other two days will be more tough because I'm single for a weekend and will be playing with my mommy.

What I want to leave you with today is - always remember what it is you really want.  It's not really to be skinnier (although that is probably part of it).  It's probably to not feel winded when you walk  up your stairs in the house, to be able to just get up off the couch without having to hoist yourself up or rock your way out, it's to feel healthy, to be healthy and most important to feel good about yourself.

If you're reading this, please subscribe to my blog so I know that there's someone out there and that I'm not just talking to myself.  Leave a comment and let me know what topics you want me to write about... trust me when it comes to weight loss and methods of trying... I've done so many!!  We can help each other!!!

Lastly... always always always believe in yourself.  You can do anything that you really want to!!!

I can't wait until I'm healthfully ever after!


  1. I've struggled with a weight problem all my life and I agree - food is an addiction. What irritates me is that alcoholic addiction is recognized as an illness but do not classify weight problems as an addiction/illness. So I completely understand what you are saying.

  2. Thank you for leaving a comment. Yes I agree, it is an addiction and should be recognized as such.