My Holiday Goal

So, I've not been the most positive person lately.  You can tell from my posts I'm sure.  It's been quite the last 8 months.  I've gotten myself into quite the depression and struggled and GAINED A LOT of weight back.

I'm not jumping on the "I'm Back Baby" bandwagon, but I'm certainly trying.  I always think about what I'm eating/doing but as of most recent, I've not been in control.  I know what I've been doing is wrong and can't stop myself.  I literally ate 3 candy bars worth of candy in one sitting... maybe even more.  Just shoveling it into my mouth.  I know it's because the Halloween candy is easy to come by, but for goodness sake, how am I even able to do that without getting sick?

I can't answer that, but I didn't get sick.  I didn't feel great, but I didn't get sick either.

Last week at weight watchers I spoke with my leader a bit about a plan for the week.  The plan was that if I could track, then I could buy myself this tasty popcorn.

I didn't track all week long, I made it a day and a half.  UGHHHHH

So I didn't track, big deal.  I'm not going to beat myself up about it.  There's no point, it's done and over with.  But, what I did do for myself is I finally started to exercise.  I started Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred (3rd time... probably my most used video).  It sucks.  It's hard.  It's do-able... I'm modifying it right now since I'm so out of shape, but I'm doing it.

My husband actually told me that he was proud of me this morning, because I got up to work out before I started work.  Needless to say, I can tell he's not been real proud of me lately (neither am I, but ughhhh it's hard to see it in his face).  It did make me proud of myself too, because I hate mornings... but the fact is, I did it.  It's over for the day and I wish I could do that every day... that, is not possible.  I'm not getting up at 4:30 in the morning to work out.  I seriously hate mornings.

Anyway - I'm proud of myself for this last week.  I was not perfect (had a lot lot lot of candy) but I did something good for myself... not just the working out but my lunches were better for me too and by Tuesday my dinners were on track as well.  I still have a bit to work on and it's only going to get harder through the holidays.

I do have a plan though.  My plan is to continue my 30 days of shred.  Which will put me at the first week of December.  By the end of next week I will have my plan in place for what's after that.  Because I am most definitely going to continue working out. A person makes much better choices if they are exercising.  It's that plain and simple.  You just don't want to undo what you just worked so hard to do.

Eventually my plan is to get back to the gym.  But I'm not ready for all my gym friends to see how much weight I've put on.  I'm THAT person... but I'm also wasting $32.00 a month by not going.  So that is my ultimate goal!

There you have it... I'm getting myself back into a better place.

I can't wait until I'm Healthfully Ever After.